Organizing My Life

119 thoughts on “Organizing My Life”

1. We must do this too! We’ve been distracted with house downsizing but if one of us goes, I’m not so sure the other knows where to find stuff. There is so much to know — automated payments, life insurance (we found out that my husband didn’t know I have a 40 year old insurance policy), and even some ridiculous things like which cat goes to which vet. Downsizing clothes is a lot easier!

   1. It’s going to be a big task. Even those who think they have everything well organized might be surprised at what information is missing. Like many couples, we each take care of specific household duties and may not know the ins and outs of what the other manages. Assumed knowledge is dangerous in this situation.

2. I agree. I think we are reasonably well organised and most of our financial arrangements are shared, but we definitely need to do more. It’s just getting around to it!

   1. Even if information is shared between partners, it will be nice to have a “roadmap” so we can find what we need under what will probably be a stressful situation.

3. I expect, like decluttering my home, I will feel much better when I’m done. 

   You said it. We are on the same trajectory. I know that life is complicated now, more so than when our parents aged, but I/we are trying to keep on top of it. Did you ever think growing older would be this complicate‽

   1. Complicated, yes. And the older I get, the less I want to deal with it, so it’s best to do it now and get it over with.

4. Very timely post, Janis. Richard and I both just read The Longevity Imperative (by Andrew J. Scott) that I highly recommend. It caused us both much deep thinking of many levels. Richard has been excellent at keeping his paperwork in order for his executor to easily go through. Me? Not so much. It’s something that I keep avoiding. Thank you for sharing this. It is very helpful.

   1. That sounds like a book I need to add to my reading list… thanks for the tip! I understand all about avoiding this not very pleasant task. I figured that if I wrote a post, and promised updates, that I actually might get it done. 🙂

5. A thought provoking post, Janis. I’ve been in the position of managing someone’s estate twice and you are so right. Even a well-organised life creates obstacles afterwards and a roadmap helped when it was available. And yet – I’ve done little to create my own for another. Good reminder.

   1. Seeing our family member struggle with her partner’s stuff was a real eye-opener. It’s so easy to let someone else take care of important household duties but, if they are no longer able to, the person left has no idea how to proceed.

6. I like the organization of your list so you can keep track step by step Janis. I actually set myself to starting this project 7 years ago just after I divorced. Many things were simplified after that so the process wasn’t as detailed as yours but things are spelled out and now just need to be monitored and updated which I do annually around my birthday month. Having 3 adult children means they have all been assigned a role so that helps (I hope) that no one kid feels burdened by all of the tasks. I do not shy away from discussions with them either. Aging/illness/death are all a part of life and everyone needs to be prepared. I look forward to reading how the process continues to go for you and for any reminders I may have missed 🙂

   1. You are so smart to have tackled this earlier. I’m not surprised that you have everything organized and have assigned various tasks to your children. I’m also impressed that you do an annual update. Hopefully, when I’m done, I will feel as organized as you. Fingers crossed. 🙂

7. A sobering but useful post to get all of our thinking caps on as we prepare for the inevitable, Janis. I like your list that breaks items down. We received worksheets to name POAs, etc and other wishes, from our financial advisor.

   I need to get to quit procrastinating and get this going. I’d hate for any loved ones to plow through our things, and have to make decisions while grieving. Lately I have been busy going through boxes of things we moved. Now to get hubby to do it…

   The comments are also interesting to read.

   1. It appears that many of us are in the same boat. This isn’t one of the “funner” things about retirement so it’s easy to put off. I think, especially if you have kids, that getting everything organized for them is an act of love.

8. Hey Janis! I know from recent conversations that this has been on your minds as well as many of the rest of us. Interestingly enough, even though we set up our trust about 5 years ago we revisted it before leaving on our current vacation and realized that many of our thoughts and desires have changed. Because our world is changing so fast, we really need to not only set it up once, but also revisit it on a regular basis. Every year things change from both the accounts where we keep our money but to how we want it distribute as well. Let’s fact it…it is a complicated situation. And then for those of us without children it becomes even more complicated. Definitely something we can’t just forget about. Thanks for all the reminders! ~Kathy

   1. I was able to rescue your brilliant comment… see below for my reply. 🙂

9. Hi Janis! so I just wrote a lengthy and brilliant comment and it completely disappeared!!!! Not up to doing it again but just know I had some great ideas! hahahaha. Looking forward to next time we are together and sharing thoughts. ~Kathy

   1. Hi Kathy. For some reason, your first comment came across as Anonymous and needed approval. Silly WordPress. Anyway, you are so right about Trusts, wills and other estate documents needing to be updated regularly. Circumstances, relationships, and laws change. I had an acquaintance who didn’t update his Trust after being married a second time… his whole estate went to his first wife and his second wife of twenty years was left with nothing. Also, not having children does complicate planning. Yes, we have a lot to talk about (as if that’s ever a problem 🙂 ).

10. Interesting to read this post Janis as my own Trust was “born” (as the attorney put it) a week ago Tuesday. I had to do this because I have no family members and I wanted my POA/Medical POA and Advocate to be in the hands of at least two attorneys – in this case the attorney and his daughter who is an attorney at his firm. He is a few years younger than me (I am 68) but his daughter will be around for a long time, having passed the bar three years ago. He has a son who is an attorney at a large firm at present. I think I’m set. I am happy that I am his fourth client that he has set up a Trust and will act on their behalf as they also have no family members.

    I spent a beautiful Spring day at the funeral home, setting up a file for my cremation, though I did not pre-pay on the advice of the attorney. This is the end of the road as to estate planning. After my father left, my mom and I had wills and POAs, etc. prepared – that attorney was to be our executor (in case we both died togethr or just one of us died), plus he was to be the POA and Medical POA/Advocate as to DNR/No Code. Then that attorney was appointed to be a district court judge and had to turn over his client files. We had to re-do the three documents as this new attorney said “it’s either or … I will be the executor of your estate or do the POA duties, but not both!” So my boss was our POA for general and medical. I have retired, but my boss also has mild dementia so I wanted to get the change done. Also, the attorney who redid the wills, etc. after our attorney became a judge messed up and when I went to transfer the house in my name, I could not and had to hire an attorney and go through probate! I used that attorney to do these Trust documents. I’m glad it’s done, but it was a necessity given the fact I have zero family/heirs.

    1. Wow, Linda, that’s complicated. But, it sounds like you have everything nicely worked out. Although there are no guarantees that your estate will be well taken care of even if you have kids, not having an obvious POA, etc. does make things trickier.

       I’m really interested in where this project will take me. My research has made it clear that there is so much more than just having a solid Trust and Will, especially if one person in a couple passes away and the other needs to carry on.

       1. Yes, it was very complicated Janis … I am glad to have it over with. I will put some info in the car with his contact information and he suggested putting info on the fridge. Now that I don’t work, I rarely get phone calls on my landline, except for junk calls and I do not use my cellphone except for emergencies so that leaves e-mail. I don’t e-mail with people every day. That’s a bit worrisome. Who would know I am no longer here? I have his cellphone number for emergencies and because I am registered as an organ donor.

          Years ago people had simple wills, a few pages long – that’s all my parents had drawn up when I was a teenager. Now considering our digital footprint, you have to re-think everything.

          1. You are way too young and healthy now, but I’ve known older, frail people living alone who call a trusted friend every day just to check in. I imagine I’d set something up like that if I find myself in that position. It is worrisome to think about, Linda, and probably the reason many of us put off planning for the inevitable.

             1. I think when I get older I do need to check in with someone daily. I have friends I e-mail nearly every day, fellow bloggers, former coworkers, friends … none of them live in Michigan though. It’s sobering to think about these details when we’re still young and healthy.

11. Great post. Being prepared and being organized is my mantra. Now if I could only inspire my husband who is 9 years older and is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. He just doesn’t want to discuss these things. So I have Plan A, Plan B and Plan C all in my head. And much of my stuff simplified.

    1. It’s hard when someone doesn’t want to talk about important things like end-of-life matters. That’s what happened to our family member with her partner. Her partner didn’t share any information that would have made dealing with the bills and financial accounts so much easier. Good to have Plan A, B & C.

12. My daughter helped me organize things after John’s death, so she knows where my things are and how they are organized.

    1. That is fabulous! Having someone close to you who knows where everything is and how to access it is golden. I bet it gives you a lot of comfort.

       1. Yes, I’m glad things are organized. It will help all the children. We have a sign up sheet so that any of them can state what they would like to have from the house when I’m gone. I don’t think anyone has signed up for the same item yet. We have lots of old family things that have sentiment value but aren’t worth much.

13. great topic and wonderful discussion. Getting everything set up is hard and then you realize that many of the parts are always changing. Just getting into my bank account takes extra steps now to keep it secure.

    1. There are a lot of conveniences to being able to do business online, but it does involve a lot of security steps that we need to keep track of. I’ve seen situations where a surviving spouse thought they had all the necessary passwords but discovered that they had been changed. Nothing nefarious, but their spouse just forgot to update the information.

14. Useful advice. Passwords, not thought of that before!

    1. Passwords are the gateway into so many parts of our live these days. I have no idea what my husband’s passwords are nor does he of mine.

15. It does sometimes feel overwhelming, but, as you said, breaking it down into doable chunks might help.

    1. I just found your comment in “pending”. Sorry about the late response. I’ve made some progress and will be updating my recent steps towards organization soon.

16. It’s a good thought, Janis. It’s my husband’s 71st birthday today (he’s still asleep) and he is the one who organises finances etc. I’m sure I’ll be left in a complete muddle if it’s his turn first, but if it’s me hopefully he won’t fare too badly.

    1. Happy birthday to your husband! Since it is almost impossible to plan on who goes first, it might be a comfort to you if he created some sort of roadmap for you.

       1. 🤗🩷

17. Now I know why you liked my airplane organizer so much: you’re an organized person by nature! I love this idea. I mean, I’m not going to do it yet, but when I retire, I fully plan to declutter and organize like this (although I’m decently “there” with my organization – decluttering is another matter). May I make a request? At the end of each post on this topic, will you make a running link to all the previous posts on the topic so that, but the very last post, the links for all the previous posts are in one place at the bottom? That way, I could possibly send it to someone like my mom to read. Just a thought.

    1. Thanks for the suggestion, I will do that. Hopefully what I learn as I go along will be helpful to others. Btw, if you can, don’t wait until you retire to get your personal information organized. Not to be a downer, but you never know what can happen… at any time.

18. Thank you!!

    1. I hope my project is helpful to others.

19. I have just ordered The Nokbox (Next of Kin). It contains all the information and how to pull all this information together. I found if I subscribed I got 16% off too! Hopefully this will motivate me to get this project done! Thanks for the reminder of how important this is especially to a single gal like me!

    1. The NOK Box is a good option, and I will write about it – and others – in a future post. Good luck on completing your project!

20. Janis, Having just gone through all this with my mom passing last year, I started on our own as well. The list I found was called a “Legacy Drawer”, although mine is a digital one. There is also a NOK box (next of kin) I’ve seen advertised. One of the things I also did, when it made sense, was to consolidate our investments under a single Financial Advisor. (My mom had so many small investments here and there.) We are also updating our Estate Plan/Trust; our was 25+ years old and apparently “rules” have changed, plus we are in a different state which apparently matters. I’ll be comparing your list to the one I’ve done to make sure I have not missed anything. As you said, this is an important thing to do/have. BTW, what is an Ethical Will?

    1. It sounds like you are well on your way to having everything organized. We’ve been told that it’s a good idea to update Estate Plans/Trusts about every 10 years, but I think it makes sense to look at it more often as things change. Since many people move when they retire, it would be important to make sure it complies with the laws of the state.

       An Ethical Will is something you’d create to document family history, thoughts and experiences, personal information, etc. that you want to pass on to future generations. I found the idea intriguing but, because we don’t have kids, I may decide not to create one when I get to that point.

       1. Janis, thanks on the Ethical Will info. We also do not have children, so probably not something for me either.

21. I have been considering the whole Swedish death cleansing notion, and that includes putting into order those things you mention. Although I’m in the UK and there will be certain differences, I will be following along in order to seek inspiration, encouragement and just general oomph to get my own stuff done. As to Himself…. well, that may be somewhat harder.

    1. I really love the idea of Swedish death cleaning. After dealing with my parent’s house – which they lived in for about 40 years before they passed – I really want to leave as little stuff as I can. I know that you’ll feel better when all your information is organized… maybe that will encourage Himself.

       1. I do know there is no point in attempting to persuade Himself to do so until I’ve done mine, as mine is the majority of the clutter 🙂

          1. Good luck!

22. My parents did this recently. I want them to live forever, of course, but I applaud them for taking this step. I’m not ready to downsize quite yet, but it’s always in the back of my mind.

    1. What I am doing for this project is not really downsizing (that is a whole other, ongoing project) and more making sure my spouse (if I go first), or whoever is managing our estate (if we both get hit by a bus at the same time) knows how to find everything they need. Contact information, financial documents, passwords, etc. Although it’s a good project for retirement, it makes sense for anyone. Seeing our family member struggle to gather all the information she needed (and, of course, she didn’t know what she didn’t know), opened my eyes to the importance of having the info complete and accessible.

       1. I totally get that. You never know when you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of a runaway bus; better safe than sorry!

23. Janis, this is an important guide for organizing our lives. I have been doing a lot of that since my brother’s wife died, leaving him in the dark and without access to her accounts. It means hiring an attorney and paying about 10,000 just to get what should be rightfully his with no heirs and 40 years of marriage. We have done most of organizing you mentioned. Taxes are another important item to have organized. In addition to credit cards and insurance, if there are retirement accounts, or excess bank accounts or safe deposit boxes, it’s good to have those listed somewhere. It’s also good to have a trusted relative on your checking account with you, if you are alone., and your spouse or children by a different marriage, by all means, if you are married. Many people have separate separate accounts, but it is impossible if no one can access them and you left no beneficiary with the bank.

    Thanks again for this important article. I’ll be referencing it in Story Chat. 🙂

    1. What happened to your brother is a perfect example of the consequences of not having this important information organized. I’m so sorry that he – and you – had to go through this. We don’t know what we don’t know and could be left completely in the dark if the person with this information passes away. Also, good point on the names on checking accounts. As my dad was failing, having my name on his account really helped me handle his affairs.

       1. Yes, we did the same with my mom’s account, and now my brother’s. It makes life much easier.

24. Good reminder for all of us, and I have no doubt you’ll nail this project. I look forward to seeing what tools you use to do it.

    1. It will certainly be a learning process. Hopefully what I discover can help others on the same path.

25. This really is an important subject. I started a plan with the intention of setting aside a “death day” each month or quarter to work on this (always the Ides, naturally). I’m afraid best intentions fell by the wayside, but are not forgotten.

    1. It is easy to let this project lapse… it isn’t fun at all. I hope that putting it on my blog will keep me working on it and sharing my progress. I love that your “death days” were scheduled on the Ides. 🙂

26. It reminds me of cleaning my room when I was a kid or eating my vegetables. I didn’t like it then and it can be painful now — but oh so important. It’s the “long game” and it matters!

    1. Exactly… I know I will feel a sense of accomplishment when I’m done. Are you one of those naturally organized types who completed this project long ago and now only has to update it now and then?

       1. Oh, I wish I was organized. I have a few things organized but I have a long way to go. Ugh. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

27. I’m with ya on this, Janis. We have bits and pieces collected, but like you say: the myriad of on-line stuff is crazy! I look forward to reading about what you discover as you begin formalizing your roadmap.
    One thing we’ve had for several years which has proven to be a valuable tool is Sticky Password. This is a place for all accounts, passwords, any other info you want stored in one place. It is accessed by one master password. Info/accounts are easily revised as needed and then synced between our computers so both are updated with the same info.

    1. Organizing all of our various online accounts is difficult enough when we are still lucid and above the sod. I can’t imagine dealing with someone else’s mess after they are no longer around. I’ll have to check Sticky Password out. Is it like a password manager? I’ve been considering signing up for one and will discuss it in my next project post.

       1. Yes. With tons of other applications. For example we use the Premium version and use the Secure Memos section where we have the usual bank account #s, hubby’s DD214, Credit reports, credit card numbers etc…Definitely check it out.

          1. Thanks, I will!

28. You definitely hit a pressure point for us boomers. We have started “de-stuffifying” (love that term) and I have considered the electronic records and then I quickly ignore that thought. Ugh. Thanks for the tips and I will look forward to your future posts for inspiration and ideas.

    1. Ugh is right. Although I love the feeling of being organized, I struggle to get there. Just like clearing out a house full of stuff, taking the project on in smaller chunks makes it less overwhelming. It sounds like many of us are in the same boat so hopefully we can inspire each other.

29. Yes, this! My mom had the luxury of time to get her things in order due to her cancer diagnosis and we, her daughters, were forever grateful. She even had her funeral planned and paid for, right down to the music and sandwich selection! I’ll be following your journey with interest, Janis.

    Deb

    1. Good for your mother! I love that she even planned her funeral so meticulously. It seems that we should be able to attend our memorial when we are alive and can enjoy the results of our careful planning (and can hear all the nice things said about us), doesn’t it?

30. Alan and I updated our wills and created a trust last fall. Our son currently holds Power of Attorney and is our Healthcare Proxy. He’s also the Executor of our wills and Trustee. I created a binder for him with all the info he’ll need, and I update it regularly: legal documents, spreadsheet with passwords to every account and membership, a list of assets with account numbers, deeds to the house and cemetery plot, and a document containing names and contact info for our doctors, attorneys, accountant and insurance agents, plus the locations of all of our financial and household records, including titles to all of our vehicles. There are additional touches I’d like to add, but, at this point, we’re confident that our son has the resources he’ll need to get the job done. I know some people are reluctant to discuss this often uncomfortable issue, but Alan and I both feel strongly that our kids should understand what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Our daughter knows why we chose her brother, both kids know what’s in our will and how and why the trust is set up the way it is. We’ve made it clear that they can come to us at any time with questions. Two thoughts . . . I’m a highly organized person, and I was surprised at the amount of time it took to do this job right. So don’t get discouraged, just go step by step. And, if you need help with the step by step, Nolo Press publishes a book called “Get It Together” to help with the process of organizing your records. Janis, this is such an important and worthwhile topic – hence the lengthy comment, my apologies. Good for you for taking it on!

    1. Why am I not surprised at how organized you are? With all the traveling you do, I bet knowing that all your ducks are in a row gives you some comfort. And, thanks for adding that the process isn’t a quick one. I think a lot of people start with great intentions, then life (a much more positive focus) gets in the way and they let things slide. That’s one of the reasons I announced my intentions. I hope that updating my progress along the way will keep me moving forward.

       I’m very much enjoying your posts about your latest trip to Alaska! I’m also very jealous that you saw a moose… a magnificent creature that I’ve never seen in the wild.

       1. As soon as the last documents were signed last fall, I did breathe a sigh of relief. When I realized just how much time Alan and I spend traveling on the road together (and how that would up the statistical probability of a double tragedy), it did prompt me to get those ducks in a row. As for the moose, it’s rather impressive to see just how big they are “in real life.” At the risk of inflating your jealousy and spoiling the surprise in a future post . . . We’re down on the Kenai Peninsula, and saw two more yesterday, both females. Keeping my fingers crossed for a bull moose – would love to see one of those big guys! 🫎

31. You are wise to be taking care of this now. I know it is not an easy task but it will be so rewarding when you have it all completed.

    1. Until I started to do the research, I wasn’t aware of how unprepared I was. Slow and thorough will be my mantra until I complete the task.

32. Janis, this is so important, and I appreciate you for sharing your efforts publicly. We had had the foresight to creates wills and DNRs, etc. several years ago. After seeing what my family had to go through when my sisters and mother died, we set about updating our wills, Living Wills, and Healthcare Proxy. Our digital and financial accounts are overwhelming. We are consolidating those where we can, trying to anticipate all the information that the executor of our wills would need, especially since he (my nephew) lives in a different state.

    1. I think that, until they have to go through the process of managing someone else’s estate themselves, many people think that just having a Will, Trust, DNR, etc. is enough. Those are extremely important, yes, but there are so many other considerations. I imagine I will learn a lot from this process, and I hope others will too.

       1. One of the things I need to do is make my nephew a beneficiary to our checking and savings accounts. A friend was a beneficiary to her mother’s bank account so when her mom died, she had immediate access to the $. Since her mom’s Will had to go through probate, the cash helped her move forward with other things (like her mom’s burial, etc.). And people don’t like to talk about burials, but that’s another thing I’m working on: getting a burial plot, headstone, and prepay for a service so my family doesn’t have to do that.

          1. When my parents passed away, I was so grateful that they had pre-planned everything. I didn’t have to guess what they wanted regarding their funerals. I figure that I won’t care very much when I’m dead, but it makes things so much easier for those dealing with the particulars.

             Interesting what you said about your friend being a beneficiary on her mother’s account and having instant access. Our financial advisor said that could be illegal unless the person is a joint owner of the account. Hmmm… I’ll have to look into that.

             1. My friend’s mother was in New York. I wonder if it differs by state or maybe by bank. She made it clear that she was a beneficiary, not a joint account holder so she could only have access to the money after her mother died.

                Did I mention that my mother had prearranged her cremation and burial? She even included memorial cards although I had to pick out the photo and verse. I’m so glad she had everything set up because I’m in Florida and she and my brother (last remaining sibling) were in New York. Frankly, I don’t think my brother would have done anything for her. As it is, he didn’t honor her will, not entirely. He is another reason why I want to be sure my wishes are airtight.

33. I am the one in my circle coaxing friends and family to put the time in now to at min get their wills and trusts done. I’ve also managed two estates now and it’s a bear when the roadmap is non-existent. Easier to tackle as a spouse, less so as a sister in law. Waiting for unknown bills to show up because you know they exist, but you’re unable to verify account details kept me blind on more than on occasion. Bills eventually work themselves out, but being unable to unlock a cell phone with photos and contacts was a huge loss. All adds undue stress. I also advocate adding a person to notify in case of inactivity to key accounts. Something Google, Facebook, and hopefully other online accounts allow. A password wallet if you use one may also have an authorized user setup or make sure you keep an updated login instructions in your roadmap. We at min print out saved passwords and store in the safe with our trust documents. Thanks for documenting a process that works for you! I will be reading and sharing!

    1. Yes, being able to unlock the person’s phone is huge, and I plan to cover that in my next post. My husband has the code, but good reminder that I need to also give it to a trusted family member. I wasn’t aware of the ability to notify someone if there is inactivity… except that, in my case, inactivity isn’t necessarily a sign of anything except that I’m busy doing other things. 🙂

34. Destuffifying, haha. Great word. We’ve been on a simplification journey for years now, beginning with our eight years of full-time travels and culminating in our recent tiny home adventure (which actually required acquiring stuff, LOL). But I’m on a similar mission to simplify ALL of our paperwork stuff, whether it’s actually on paper or online. Thanks for the great list of reminders, and good luck to all of us! 🙂

    1. I think in some ways the decluttering we’ve done over the years was a bit easier than my project of getting all of our documents and information organized. Fortunately, there is good information online… I guess a lot of people have faced the same challenge.

35. It’s an always evolving process, isn’t it? I created a big document two years ago, and I was surprised earlier this year how much had changed since I wrote it. These things constantly have to be updated and revised. The big change for us is that I finally gave in to auto-payments for most our bills. That way, G-d forbid, if there’s any temporary incapacitation I know the lights will still be on. Depressing thoughts! Good on you for staying on it. – Marty

    1. Hi Marty! I don’t imagine that this will be a one-and-done process. Situations change so the documents will have to be updated from time to time. Probably a quarterly review would be sufficient.

       We have a mix of auto-pay and online payments. A few companies (cough, cough *AT&T* cough, cough) I don’t trust to stop the autopayments when notified.

36. Smart, Janis! Mark’s mom is 88 years old and he is in the loop with everything and managing a bit of her life and finances (usually from afar), which she is happy about. She still has her wits and Mark makes sure his mom keeps track of everything and updates her passwords whenever needed. She has a little book for this. 🙂

    My parents are super self-sufficient still, but they already moved into an assisted living situation (they own their apartment), meaning most of their downsizing has happened already while they are still relatively young, being in their early seventies. I sure appreciate that! Plus, my brother and I weren’t even involved in that. We will talk about some financial stuff while I’m with them in Belgium this summer.

    It’s good to plan ahead. Mark and I should do a bit of that as well, soon.

    1. It’s probably never too early to organize your documents and make sure someone knows where and what everything is. Even as I just start this process, I am realizing how much there is to do… and I thought we were pretty organized. Having so much information online adds a whole layer of complication.

       I hope you and Mark are having a blast in Belgium! I bet it’s nice to be out of your RV for a while. It’s a great idea to set aside a little time with your folks to go over everything.

37. Hubby and I have talked about this. He made a binder with all the necessary information and then recorded “If I die” videos for me explaining all the financial stuff. Loads of fun. If I die, presumably he can figure out grocery shopping, cooking, and laundry. 😉 (I’m kidding. He can do all those things already.)

    1. Wow, If I Die videos really take it to the next level. My husband is pretty handy which house stuff too. I’d be the one sitting in the living room, with no clue which of our 5 remotes turn on the TV.

       1. I have kids for the remote situation. When they leave, I’ll just never use the TV. 😛

38. It is a great idea to get organized for the twilight years, Janis. I am not sure about making videos or even computer files. Technology changes so quickly we may not be have the programs to read them all. A hard copy might be safer.

    I have already done quite a bit of prep when we moved into our retirement home. – we don’t want to move again until we have to do so. So this home is ready for us if we become infirm. We have sorted out will and documented all the necessary things to make it easier. Our daughter kept reminding me to destash my crafts as she did not want to be left sorting it all. When my Mother died, it was horrendous. So much stuff that had never been touched or used in decades. It made me clear out even more. But the one thing that surprised me was my daughter’s request for a death letter. I wrote about it here forestwoodfolkart.wordpress.com/2020/10/30/an-unusual-request/

    1. I think your daughter was very wise to ask for that. As time goes on, you may want to update/revise it. The “Ethical Will” that I mentioned is sort of like that. Since we don’t have kids, I may not include one in my project.

39. As a single, childless person with no relatives on this side of the pond, I’ve had to confront these issues head-on. WHO will be tasked with doing all this? After much head scratching and searching I found a small, owner-operated company that, for a fee (of course), will act as care managers for me. As part of their process, I’ve had to update my will, find and contract with a trust company that will serve as my financial POA, fill out countless questionnaires and surveys about my finances, most intimate likes, dislikes, preferences & habits, what to do with my body when it kicks the bucket, all of that stuff. It has taken two years to get everything done. They will contact me 3 times a year by phone and schedule 1 home visit yearly…until I need more. It feels good to have taken care of all that.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story. Not everyone has an obvious family member to handle their affairs, either because they are childfree or because they don’t have a family member who is capable or interested. It sounds like you came up with a great solution. They seem very thorough, and I like how they have ongoing contact with you. Congrats for taking this huge step and for giving yourself a certain amount of peace for having it completed.

    2. That is so interesting- I never knew that these kinds of businesses existed. But clearly there is a big need.

       1. Yes. It took a good deal of research but I found 3 companies in my area. So many services are focused on immediate patient care and transportation. I wanted the legal stuff taken care of so when needed, the transition would be as seamless as possible. For years I’d put down a variety of friends’ names down as person to contact “If.” That is haphazard and frankly unfair to one’s friends. Plus, my friends are getting up there in years too. 🥴

40. We’re in the middle of doing this also. I ordered a book (through Amazon of course) where I can write in a lot of the info, and then add typed pages. I like that better than doing it all on the computer. Good friends also told us about the Vial of Life in which medical ‘stuff’ is all in an easy accessible place if needed. I just ordered two. Mortality – it’s a subject so many are uncomfortable to talk about, which makes no sense. Thanks for the post!

    1. I’m glad to hear that you’ve started the process too. Fortunately, there are a few tools to help us gather everything we might need. I agree that I wouldn’t want a lot of stuff only in a digital format. I have not heard of Vial of Life… I’ll check it out.

41. Such an important thing to cover. I had terrible problems when my mother died in 2015. She had a will but no power of attorney, so I had to apply to get one. Just before the court signed all the documents, she passed away.

    The whole experience taught me to get my and my partner’s wills and power of attorney documents sorted out. Now, my niece has all the information. She hated talking about it, but she fully understands why we’ve done it.

    1. You are lucky to have a younger family member who you can trust to handle things the way you want. How nice that you have everything organized. I think many of us are (or will be) motivated to get our stuff together when we deal with the estate of someone else. It can be a real eye-opener.

       1. I agree. It’s not until it happens that many won’t even think about their will or power of attorney. If it hadn’t been for the mess of my mother’s will and estate, I’d never have looked at ours until it was too late.

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44. Hi Janis, Thank you for sharing an important post. I often think about what I leave behind for my daughters. I want to make things easy on them after I leave. It is an overwhelming thought and I admit how I procrastinate even though I have some things organized for them. You are absolutely right about digitized and multiple passwords. We update wills regularly…one positive. I appreciate you sharing a list and your progress. Bookmarked your post! 💕Erica

    1. Hi Erica! As I have researched this issue more and more, I have come to realize how much of our world is made up of passwords, codes, and confusing operating systems. Gone are the days of one front door lock, bank passbooks, and a TV that you just turn on and off with a simple turn of the dial. Every time my husband tries to explain the TV remote to me, my eyes glaze over.

       1. Ha, ha, you remind me Janis, how I was trying to explain “the clapper” to my grandchildren this weekend…even showed them the commercial from years ago…now that was easy! And fun!

45. Somehow I put your email into spam and missed this post and everything that might have come after it. Fixed now, I think.

    Yep, I’ve been giving all this a lot of thought lately. But I need to do more than just think about it. If I don’t declutter first, nobody will be able to find the important stuff — although my son knows my computer password and almost everything is on here. Hmm, maybe not everything …

    1. It’s amazing, once I started to collect and document all my passwords, special codes, combinations, etc. I was so surprised how many there were. I’ve been traveling recently and off the blogosphere, but I hope to post more about my organizing journey soon. It’s a long process but I think the results and peace of mind will be worth it.

46. Thank you for this great advice! My husband and I have been talking about this and have just started to take steps to take care of some of these items. It’s overwhelming but will be well worth the effort.

    1. It can be overwhelming, but I feel better with each little step I take. Fortunately, there are a lot of tools available to help us on the important journey. Good luck to you and your husband!

47. Destuffifying. I love that word. I’m of that certain age too, Janis, and began that process in earnest when my mom died in 2022. Aside from paperwork (which my paper-hoarder dad still handles) she left me with a lifetime of stuff to sort through – bins and bins and bins in a storage unit. I’m still dealing with it. I swore I wouldn’t do that to my daughter. My own paperwork is in decent shape, thank goodness. And since I don’t have any closets in my house, I’ve kept my own stuff to a minimum out of necessity. Great list of documents that we need to have in place for those who may/will need to step in.

    1. I think many of us are hit with the realization that we need to do this for ourselves (and our family) when our parents pass away. The “lifetime of stuff” can be daunting. Better for us to go through our stuff and dump what we can so no one else has to face it. Now that so much is electronic and digitized, some of it is easier… but we need to make sure our heirs have access to everything. Yikes!

       1. My daughter “tours” each bin as I empty it, so I don’t get rid of anything she may want one day. It slows the whole process down, but at least I know that what I’m storing is wanted. Only about ten bins to go through now.

          1. I love that your daughter is participating (even if it’s only by giving her input). It would be a shame to get rid of something she wanted.

             1. Agreed!

48. Like you, we are trying to downsize and desperately need to organize our documents. Thanks for the reminder and tips to get going on it. Ugh… overwhelming, but necessary. Wishing you the best with it and I look forward to hearing more tips.

    1. It’s a big project so I’m taking it on in little steps. Good to know that I’m not the only one who’s not 100% organized. I’m sure I’ll feel better when I’m done. Good luck to you!

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