Another Year Older

Having an early January birthday has often meant celebrating indoors. When I was young, I envied those summer babies who could mark their special day with a beach bash or pool party. Following so closely after all the winter holiday celebrations, my birthday often felt like an afterthought… one that wasn’t necessarily welcome.

Although my parents made a big effort to make the day special for me, I would have preferred that they had put more thought into when I was conceived… sometime in November, rather than April would have given me the summer birthday I longed for. Sheesh.

Up until four years ago, January 6th was best known for being the day of Epiphany, or the Twelfth Day of Christmas. I’m not religious, but I liked the idea that my birthday was celebrated in many countries with merry making, feasting, and the consuming of Three Kings Cake. I also liked that the word Epiphany means a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or become conscious of, something. A sudden insight or intuitive understanding. An “aha!” moment.

In the U.S., January 6th is now also remembered for a darker reason, one that I’d rather not share my birthdate with. It has become not only a date, but a heartbreaking description, something like September 11.

Four years ago, a few days before January 6th became more than just a date on most people’s calendars, I wrote a silly poem about my birthday. I had meant to post it on my blog, but as that day’s events unfolded, I was too shocked and saddened to do much of anything.      

As I get older, I have had a lot of aha! moments and find myself gaining insights that weren’t clear to my younger self. Although there are some things I’ll never understand, this poem was written as a tongue-in-cheek celebration of the good. I hope you enjoy it. 

Epiphany
(or, a Birthday Bitty Ditty)

Epiphany
old bitty me
I’ve gained a year today

Regretfully
with vague ennui
I hoped I could delay

Once fancy-free
oh, where is she
my youth of yesterday

But, by degree
fait accompli
my hair is turning gray

Now hear my plea
don't pity me
I'm feeling no dismay

Oh glory be 
can you not see
I’m old but no cliché

Most certainly
I'm still me
just further in decay

No magic key
no guarantee
I'd make it all this way

But here I be
Oh, lucky me
much more than just okay

Epiphany
strikes suddenly
I'm grateful for this day
Even better than a Three Kings Cake, this is
the Caramelized Orange Cheesecake my dear husband makes me every year.

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Author: Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com

My blog is about travel, relationships, photography, and whatever else pops into my head (even, sometimes, issues surrounding retirement and aging).

116 thoughts on “Another Year Older”

  1. Love this, LOVE the poem, love the cheesecake. He’s a good man, that Paul. Happy Birthday.

      1. Also, from Joe Biden in the Washington Post today:

        “And we should commit to remembering Jan. 6, 2021, every year. To remember it as a day when our democracy was put to the test and prevailed. To remember that democracy — even in America — is never guaranteed.

        We should never forget it is our democracy that makes everything possible — our freedoms, our rights, our liberties, our dreams. And that it falls to every generation of Americans to defend and protect it.”

        https://wapo.st/3W6jx4W

  2. Hope you are having a happy, happy, happy day – more so that the year upcoming will be healthy with a lot more ‘good’ than ‘hmm’! Being born in northern Europe, the 6th of January was very much celebrated as the ‘Three Kings Day’ – one removed all vestiges of the crumbling Christmas tree, packed up the decorations, no longer wished anyone ‘A Happy New Year’ and sighed gratefully that you had almost a year before it all was on again 🙂 ! Oh, that ‘other’ 6th . . . if one’s birthday coincides, perchance it is better to try and ‘forget’ . . .

    1. Good to know that my birthday is still celebrated far and wide. 🙂 And, YES to much health and happiness in the New Year! It is sort of nice that all the merrymaking is over for now and we can get back to our normal lives. Thanks for your comment!

  3. Happy birthday. Love the cheesecake and the poem. I so identify with “I’m still me, just further in decay!”

      1. A delightful poem. And wonderful to have a reason to celebrate Jan. 6. Cheers! And Happy Birthday! To think I almost missed it! I’m particularly smitten with “Once fancy-free oh, where is she my youth of yesterday.”

  5. Happy birthday, Janis! And here I could have said it over the phone! You made some hilarious points about how your parents could have planned better 😆 Wonderful poem, one most of us can identify with! And that cheesecake is an epiphany in itself! Enjoy, and talk soon!

  6. I love, love, love your poem! (And by and large, I’m not a poetry lover.) Happy birthday. Bummer that it’s now associated with the maniac and his minions, but hopefully that will fade a bit over time?? My mom has a Dec. 23rd birthday and she’s never liked that, so I kind of get your complaints about that date. Now that I’m a teacher, I would love a summer birthday, too. (Then I wouldn’t have to burn a prized personal day to have my birthday off.) Hope your cheesecake was splendid and happy birthday to you!

    1. Yikes, December 23rd! At least mine occurs after all the hoopla. It really doesn’t seem fair that you have to burn a personal day while those lucky enough to have birthdays outside of the school schedule don’t have to.

      The cheesecake was – and still is – fabulous. It’s the best b-day gift ever!

  7. Happy Birthday Janis! My only son’s birthday is Jan 8th. I can understand a lot of what you highlighted in your post, especially that “afterthought” thing, although I don’t think he ever felt that but I admit I did for him. I actually had more angst over the fact that he shared a birthday with Elvis…so many people asked why we didn’t name him Elvis. Thankfully for many, many years he was unaware of who Elvis was.

    1. I bet some people are thrilled to have the same birthday as Elvis… but to be named Elvis? Nope.

      My parents did a good job making me feel special. I also reminded anyone who groused about my b-day being so close to Christmas that they could take advantage of the after-Christmas sales when buying my gift. 🙂

      1. Oh the sale angle is great! I always bought Christmas and birthday gifts at the same time. Less stress during the “finish the holiday then jump right into birthday stuff” 🙂

  10. Belated happy birthday for yesterday! My birthday is in early December so has always been lost in the frenzied flurry of pre-Christmas excitement – but as an introvert that’s something I’m quite happy about 🙂

    1. You are so right about the introvert angle. When I was young, it was a lot more important to be made to feel special. As I got older, it was less and less an issue. I guess I’m the type of introvert that doesn’t like to be the center of attention… but some attention is appreciated. 🙂

  11. I’ve always felt fortunate to have a July birthday, although during my younger days , I admit I  was envious of friends th

  12. Happy Birthday, and that cheesecake looks delicious. I’m sorry to agree that January 6th has taken on a negative political significance, but from now on I’ll remember it’s also a special birthday. 🙂 The biggest thing I notice right now is I sure have more doors held open for me. I always smile, stay thank you, but I’m still amazed that they view me so old that I need the door held open for me. 🙂

    1. I don’t let the recent history dull the date too much for myself. It’s just weird to hear the date referred to SO MUCH. You are so right about how the way people treat us changing as we reach a certain age. I feel pretty much the same inside yet, obviously, my outer appearance says otherwise. I guess having doors opened for me (even if unnecessary) is better than becoming invisible. 🙂

      1. You used a very relevant word, invisible. I have thought of that word when trying to get customer service when there are also younger generations looking for the same thing. I have found that I’m usually the last one approached rather than who had waited the longest. The journey of life is always interesting. 🙂

  13. oh Janis I understand you a lot, because I had my birthday on 3rd January..(and I am a boomer, 66 years old)

    Happy new year to us!

    Simona (from Italy, and still working as librarian!)

  14. Janis, your ‘bitty ditty’ made me spit my coffee! Or maybe it just dribbled down my nap cloth. I’m feeling very much like an ‘old cliche’ this morning, but enough about that.

    Happy Birthday!! I remember your orange cheesecake tradition from past years. What a thoughtful husband. Besides the cheesecake, I hope your day was wonderful.

  15. Happy birthday fellow Januarian. Yeah, I wanted a July birthday too so occasionally I celebrate my half-year birthday with burgers and margaritas on the deck! Your ditty is fun. Sharing your birthday with that dreadful political event is sad. My dad was buried on my birthday when I was 11 so I get the nagging negative backdrop. I’d love that orange cheesecake. You make me drool every year!

    1. What a terrible thing to happen on your birthday! That would have been so hard at any age, much less 11.

      I think I may celebrate my half birthday in the summer this year. At our age, maybe it’s better to celebrate the younger age we currently are, rather than the older age we’ll be in six months. 🙂 Genius!

  16. My birthday is mid-December, so it’s kind of lost in the Thanksgiving to New Year’s whirlwind. I can imagine an early January birthday is even more challenging because everyone is ready to relax after the holidays. Happy Birthday, Janis…may this be a year of continuing wonderful adventures for you! I remember that gorgeous cheesecake from your birthday last year. And just like last year, I would love to have a slice (or two)!

    1. Another holiday whirlwind birthday! I think we need to start a club. With a secret handshake. And a special password.

      Now that my birthday has come and gone, my new year has officially started and I’m looking forward to the travels and celebrations with friends that make life so much fun. I hope you have lots of fabulous plans too.

  18. Happy Birthday! My dad also was born Jan 6, and mom on Dec 25 so I have lots of experience with winter and holiday birthdays. Celebrate as you wish

  19. Happy birthday Janis! Any chance of getting the recipe to that scrumptious cheesecake? It’s gorgeous!

    1. I am happy to share it! A couple of bloggers have asked for it – and made it – in the past. Unfortunately, your comment came through as being from Anonymous, so I don’t know who to send it too. Just send me a note through my Contact Me.

  20. Happy birthday, and what a great (and I mean great) poem.

    I had a minor outpatient surgery in 1999. It was my sister’s birthday, and I didn’t think anything of it. Except I woke up to learn I had advanced stage ovarian cancer. I messed up my sister’s birthday forever!

  22. Don’t let that weirdo with the horned fur hat take away your special day! FWIW, I might not even have remembered the significance of the date if I hadn’t seen it on the news. Love your poem and hope you had a great birthday!

  23. Happy birthday for yesterday! I enjoyed your ditty. My birthday is in July. I didn’t like it so much when I was young (it was either just before or just after the end of school / uni term so friends had started to go off on holiday) but it was very advantageous after moving to Glasgow. The annual “Glasgow Fair” holiday falls on the middle weekend of July and the library was closed Friday to Monday – so 4 years out of 7 I had a day off without really trying!

  24. Happy Birthday Janis and yes what is a birthday without seeing and in your case eating an orange cheesecake 🙂 I am also a January baby.

  25. Happy belated birthday, Janis! Your poem is an epiphany. I love it!😍 So far my December 31 has avoided the dreaded terrorist curse (as far as I know).

  26. Happy belated birthday Janis! I enjoyed this post, especially … “I would have preferred that they had put more thought into when I was conceived… sometime in November, rather than April would have given me the summer birthday I longed for. Sheesh.” And your poem was fun as well. Since we are about the same age, yes, I can identify. But we remain young at heart and that is what counts, right? I know you like to walk, as do I, so I’m sure our walking regimens are keeping us from feeling our age and for you, all those steps negate the effects of your husband’s Carmelized Orange Cheesecake! Lucky you!

  27. Hello and happy birthday. I am new to your blog and your world. Enjoyed this post and especially your birthday poem. It was fun to read and would even more fun to read aloud. You are very clever!!

    No thanks to careful planning, my daughters were both accidentally conceived in October so enjoyed beach and summer birthdays. I now have 2 grands with birthdays within 10+- days of Christmas and it is so difficult. For my grandson, we are all anticipating Christmas when his birthday rolls around on the 12.20. With my granddaughter, we are all trying to recuperate from Christmas when her birthday rolls around on 01.08. Poor little things!!

    Hope this new year and birthday year bring you much good health and happiness.

    1. Hello, and welcome to my blog! Your daughters are lucky to have summer birthdays, but your poor grandchildren! I think having a post-holiday birthday is probably better than one right around Christmas. I hope your grandson never receives the dreaded “Merry Christmas/Happy Birthday” gift. 🙂 And, Happy Birthday to your granddaughter today!

  28. Happy Belated Birthday! That cheesecake does look yummy!

    I have two siblings with birthdays either two days before Christmas, and two days after Christmas so my Mom would have them have their birthday parties with friends at the end of summer or early September. As they got older they got to choose their party dates. That way they did get those summer beach or pool parties.

    I love that poem!

    Happy New Year too!

    1. How nice of your mother to adjust their celebration dates. I wonder, do your siblings still celebrate their birthdays in the summer (although, I guess as we get older, beach or pool parties aren’t as longed for 🙂 )?

      Thank you for the birthday and New Years greetings!

  29. “In the U.S., January 6th is now also remembered for a darker reason, one that I’d rather not share my birthdate with. It has become not only a date, but a heartbreaking description, something like September 11.”
    In keeping with the silliness of your b-day date poem (after giving pause for the seriousness of the date itself) I offer this thought: perhaps the focus on the b-day date will obscure any probing by others into your b-day age! 🙂
    Happy birthday, Janis – and yum on that cake!

    1. Oh, good point! When I was much younger, I always liked that people thought I was older than I actually was. When I got older, I was happy when they thought I was younger. Now, I don’t get either reaction, so I guess I’ve grown into my face 🙂

      The cake is definitely YUM!

  31. Belated best wishes, Janis! Talking about gaining insight, a song called “Ships That Don’t Come In” (written by Dave Gibson and Paul Nelson) did it for me, particularly the line, “God made life a gamble, and we’re still in the game.” That keeps every birthday in perspective, no matter how high the number. I hope the year ahead is full of magical and memorable adventures – enjoy every minute of them! 🎉🎉🎉

    1. Thank you, Mary! I will look that song up, it sounds like a good one. You are so right about keeping things in perspective. Not all are lucky enough to make it this far. I am looking forward to a magical, adventurous year… and hopefully another meet-up with you and your husband at the end of your Route 66 adventure.

  33. Very belated greetings, Janis! Oh, to have a husband who cooks! My November 5th birthday always attracted fireworks in the UK, but Guy Fawkes is a non-event here. I always felt a bit special, but being alive to celebrate another year is special enough these days.

    1. Yes! I no longer think much about when my birthday occurs… just THAT it occurs.

      Although I have heard of Guy Fawkes, I had to look up the reason for the celebration… yikes! While the modern festivities sound a bit noisy, I do love those masks.

  34. Wow, I love the Caramelized Orange Cheesecake that your husband makes for your birthday each year. That is worth getting a year older for and I’m sure it is delicious. Happy Birthday.

      1. Yes, I hope to be more connected now. We’re pretty much settled into the new house and we’re heading to Florida for 7 weeks on the 17th. I should have more time now.

  36. Happy, happy, happy birthday, Janis. I love your poem – so fun and clever! And photos of Paul’s amazing cheesecake always sets my mouth drooling!
    I look forward to catching up with you soon.

    Sending you VERY BIG birthday hugs across the miles! ❤

  37. Happy belated Birthday, Janis.

    I’ve only eaten Three Kings cake once, and was lucky enough to get the king. I’m not sure what that meant.

    These days, Twelfth night throws some confusion with some because if the first day of Christmas is the 25th December, then January 5th is the 12th day, hence I know many see that night as Twelfth night now. I’d never given it much thought until somebody pointed it out to me some years ago. It intrigued me so much that I wrote a short story about it.

    Hope you had a great day celebrating you birthday.

    1. It does get complicated, doesn’t it? But, even if the Twelfth Day of Christmas is fungible, Epiphany isn’t, so that’s what I’m claiming 🙂 I’ll have to look up a recipe for a Three Kings Cake. I wonder if anyone breaks a tooth on the King?

  38. Janis, thank you for giving me something else to associate with January 6th. I’d much rather celebrate YOU.

    As a Christmas Eve baby, I can imagine how underwhelming you post-everything birthday was. My mom also went to great lengths to honor and celebrate my birthday and my adult friends are remarkable about doing the same. But for those BIG birthdays, like turning 21…Christmas Eve just doesn’t cut it. I always wished that my birthday fell in August so I could be gifted with new school clothes.

  39. Hi Janis, Ha, ha ‘…more thought into when I was conceived …’. Hard to believe ‘that incident’ even happened and it was 4 years ago. I have never associated you with the word ‘decay’ Beautiful Janis. 💕 Your Bitty Ditty made me smile! And, that yummy cheesecake … Paul is definitely a keeper! Happy Birthday Hugs lovely Janis 🩷Erica

    1. Hi Erica! It’s always a delight to have you visit my blog. I’m glad my silly poem made you smile. That cheesecake is the reason I never make a resolution to eat healthier until at least a week after my birthday, when the last piece has been consumed. 🙂 Thanks for the birthday hugs!

  40. Belated Happy Birthday, Janis. Your birthday is special in its own right. Jan 6 is also known as Little Christmas or Women’s Christmas, an Irish tradition when the women took it easy & the men tended to them, like your husband does with that delicious looking cheesecake. I wrote a poem once to celebrate my 40th BD:

    When I Grow Old

    Some would say I am already, like my kid but not Aunty Betty

    Maybe it’s just my eyes that will age, I’ll be the old crone, the muse, the sage.

    Already I revel in the wisdom age brings, My mind still imagines, my heart still sings.

    Some things still matter, others don’t. Give up on life? For sure, I won’t.

    Old, you say, what age would that be? 55, 65, or maybe 83.

    I thought I was old when I was 20. There was lots more to learn, experiences aplenty.

    The body will age. The soul stays intact. I’ll revel in Nature, with spirit make a pact.

    Old, you say, what age would that be? 55, 65 or maybe 83.

  42. What a delightful poem! A very Happy Birthday to you (a couple of days late).

    Just an FYI, an August birthday usually meant no party as so many friends were away on their summer holidays. I envied the school year birthdays who brought in cupcakes for the whole class to share! Ah, the grass is always greener.

  43. Happy Belated, Janis! A wonderful poem that made me grin. I like this line: “I’m old but no cliché” Lol

    I just had my birthday too, and I can relate to everyone having “holiday-fatigue.” I share a birthday with Richard Nixon, which I used to find mortifying but not too much I could do about it! I hope you had a fun day. ❤

        1. Hi D! Well not to get into the political convo here, but I am hoping that what is being done will do just that – fortify things so it does last. Because the way things were headed – with trillions in debt and bleeding money through unchecked archaic systems was threatening our country and anyone who is that much debt needs to restructure and not just let the bleed go unchecked.
          sorry to ramble – but cheers to the milestone birthday and sharing it ith a president on the 9th!

  44. Pingback: Story Chat Digest Summary #1 “He Never Saw It Coming” by Amanda Forestwood – Marsha Ingrao – Always Write

  45. Could have sworn I commented on your birthday post. Anyway, belated happy birthday and thanks for sharing your writing with us….blogs, short stories and poems! Is that cheese cake getting better each year too?

  46. What a fun ditty janis, you are very clever. Although not American I can understand why your birth date now has a different meaning to you. My granddaughter was born on September 11 in 2018 and I’m hoping she will never know (naively I know) the darkness of that day in history. Happy belated birthday, one of my best friends from school shares the same day as you!

    1. Thank you, Deb! Fortunately, I think those “dark dates” tend to fade as time goes by. I have a friend whose daughter was born on 9/11/13. I don’t think it means as much to the now eleven-year-old as it does to the rest of us who lived through it. I’m happy to share my birthdate with your good friend!

  47. A good friend’s birthday is New Year’s day. She used to hate receiving joint Christmas and birthday presents, ending up having nothing to open on her birthday which always diminished it somewhat, so I can understand your feeling too. I always made sure to give her separate gifts, and to send her a birthday card so she did have things to open.

    I hope that you will be able to return to the Epiphany connection with your birthday rather than the unfortunate events of 4 years ago.

    Great poem too 🙂

  48. Happy belated birthday…

    and I loved your poem because it shows so much embracing of a stage and age and then had this contentment

    I really like how your poem led us to the closing part – with the playful grammar yet deep thoughts throughout: “But here I be Oh, lucky me – much more than just okay -Epiphany strikes suddenly I’m grateful for this day”

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