facebook – Retirementally Challenged

This is the fourth post in my series, Organizing My Life, my ongoing project to create a roadmap for when I am no longer in the driver’s seat.

There it was. Mixed in with various Facebook posts about exotic vacations, family celebrations, and funny memes, was a notice of a friend’s passing. She had moved away several years ago and, although we weren’t especially close, we had stayed in sporadic touch via social media. I had no idea that she was even sick.

This was the third time in several years that I have learned of a friend’s death via Facebook. In each case, the woman’s husband had shared the sad news on his wife’s account. As tough as it must have been to write that post, I was grateful to have been notified.

As part of my ongoing Organizing My Life project, I have set up a password manager and made lists of various accounts and important contact information. What I hadn’t thought about were my social media accounts and what should be done with them when I’m no longer, shall we say, socially active. While my neglected Instagram and little used BlueSky and Pinterest accounts could probably be left to wither in the ether, what about my Facebook account and this blog? I imagine that they could be left open and untended, but have you ever received a Facebook birthday reminder from a friend who you know has died? It’s kind of creepy.

So, how would I like these accounts managed after I’m gone? Would I like one final message posted on Facebook before my account is deleted? My husband knows many of my friends but certainly not all of them and a Facebook post could help ease his burden to let people know. If I would like him – or whoever is managing my estate – to post a notice, is that something I’d like to write myself beforehand? How long do I want the message to be visible before shutting down my account?

How about this blog? Some bloggers just suddenly vanish, leaving their followers to wonder what happened. Others have found solace in the blogging community and have continued to write despite their illness. A final message posted by a loved one is one we never want to see, but again, I am grateful to be notified. Like Facebook, the wording of the message and how long to keep the account active needs to be considered.

Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer, but it’s something to think about and discuss with my husband. He doesn’t have a blog and isn’t on Facebook so, if I want him to post a notification, I’d have to clue him in on the process. Alternatively, I could designate a friend who is more familiar with these platforms to be the one to post a notice.

How about you? Have you thought about how you’d like your various social media accounts to be handled when you can no longer manage them? (In addition to the three I mentioned, other platforms might include Twitter, LinkedIn, TikTok, Snapchat, etc.) Documenting clear instructions for each one ensures that they are managed as you wish.

Previous posts in the series:

Organizing My Life

Organizing Passwords and Other Secret Codes

What would you Grab if you had to Go?

When I started my blog, my husband was the only one outside of the blogosphere to know. I wasn’t sure where this new adventure would take me, so I decided to keep it to myself. As time went on I started to tell a few good friends, unsure of their reaction or interest. Most were receptive and asked for the URL, a few said the equivalent of “oh, that’s nice… let’s talk about something else.” Now, after seven years, no more than ten non-blogging friends read my blog, or are even aware of it.

And that’s just fine.

I became curious about what others do when I noticed that many of my blogging friends link to their posts on Facebook. Some had blog-specific Facebook accounts, but most just linked from their personal page. I imagine many do the same thing from other social media accounts.

Most of the friends I have on Facebook are people I’ve known from my childhood or from my work life. Although many of them are actual friends – even close friends – not all are. Many are really just friendly acquaintances in practical terms.

I have made the choice not to link my posts. In fact, just the idea of it makes me very uncomfortable.

So, what gives? Why are some people happy to let anyone and everyone know about their blog, and others are happier keeping the worlds separate?

On a recent Zoom meeting, I asked this question of five blogger friends, and got a variety of answers. Although most of them didn’t share their blogs on social media initially, they now link their posts without hesitation. A few mentioned that their blog helps them keep in touch with friends and family, but all said that they write what they want (with some minor self-censorship if, for example, their mother reads their blog) and share freely.

This discussion made me wonder how other non-monetized, “lifestyle” bloggers feel about sharing with friends and family. Do most keep their worlds separate or are they comfortable sharing their blog… or maybe a little of both?

So, how about you?

Do you freely tell your friends and family about your blog? If you do, what has been the general response?
Have you ever censored or altered what you have written in a post knowing a specific person reads your blog?
Do you link your posts to social media? If so, do you use your personal account, or do you have a blog-specific account? What social media platforms do you use?
If you do share on social media, what has been your experience?
Has your sharing philosophy changed over the life of your blog?

Obviously, these are decisions that everyone gets to make for themselves, but I find the different approaches so interesting. I hope you’ll join the discussion and share your experiences – good or bad.