My husband and I worked for the same company before we retired. It is not only one of the largest employers in our city; it is also a major sponsor of a number of charitable and civic organizations.
Over the years, we have been invited to attend numerous events as company representatives. Neither one of us was high up on the corporate food chain, but when the company “bought” a table at an event and needed to fill seats, they could always rely on us to say “YES!” Not only were we enthusiastic, we didn’t need much advanced notice; he owns a tux, I have a few fancy dresses of various lengths, and we didn’t need to hire a baby sitter.
As surrogate “important people,” we’ve been fortunate to attend some really fun parties; most involved good food and wine and, if we were lucky, a band and a big dance floor. I thought it surprising that the company had a difficult time finding attendees but I realized not everyone had our flexibility or the same idea of fun. We, on the other hand, were usually ready, willing and able to fill in when asked.
One of my favorite events is a major fundraiser in support of a local hospice program. The annual gala is held at a local resort hotel and consists of a silent auction/reception, sit-down dinner, and dancing. The following day, attendees are treated to a regatta on the bay aboard a number of personal yachts donated for the day. We’ve been invited to attend six or seven times and have always enjoyed ourselves immensely.
The fundraiser is in mid-August… for the first time in many years we have not been invited.
I’m not terribly surprised that these invitations will disappear now that we no longer work for the company, but I admit a sense of loss and regret. Yes, of course we could actually pay for our tickets, but most of these benefits have quite a high per-person price-tag, a cost that isn’t in our retirement budget.
Because we’d still like to enjoy the good life without actually paying for it, I am exploring the idea of starting second careers as professional event attendees. We’ve got a lot to offer and we won’t ask for anything in compensation beyond the cost of admission and, of course, the food, wine and festivities that go with it.
- Last minute need to fill seats? Our closets contain a selection of clothes for a variety of occasions. With little notice we can dress up for a formal occasion, dress down for a barbeque, or anything in between.
- Worried that some guests might be shy and feel left out? We can make pleasant conversation with anyone. We know a little about a wide range of subjects, and we will strictly avoid the topics of religion and politics.
- Want to assure the band isn’t playing to an empty dance floor? We can “break the ice” by being the first ones out. We are decent dancers but not so good that we’d discourage other couples from joining us on the floor.
- Need someone to start the bidding at an auction or to deliver the first “impromptu” tribute for a guest of honor? Just tell us what needs to be done and we can start the ball rolling.
- Party over, need people to leave? We can subtly yet firmly encourage guests to pack up and go home. We can do it seamlessly and without anyone catching on.
My husband and I can dress well enough to blend in, but not so well that we stand out. We can guarantee that our pictures won’t appear in the society columns.
No worries about us eating or drinking too much. We won’t crowd the buffet table or embarrass our hosts employers by heaping mounds of food on our plates. We also won’t run up the bar bill excessively and make fools of ourselves by over-imbibing.
We are, after all, professionals.
Although my husband and I donate regularly to a number of favorite non-profits and charities, usually the most we get in return is a sheet of pre-printed address labels or maybe a tote bag. Being professional attendees will give us the opportunity to enjoy the same events as do those who give big and who regularly eat and drink better than we do.
I think it could work. I’m going to contact our former company’s corporate giving department to let them know we are available for hire. Maybe there’s still time to get tickets to the August fundraiser.
Retirementally Challenged 
You know what they say: you don’t get if you don’t ask!
I figure if they have seat-fillers at the Academy Awards, there might be a need for Professional Event Attendees… um, probably not. It just seems like we’d be letting our considerable talents go to waste. I wonder how many ways my former company can tell me (politely) to pound sand.
Wonderful idea! I have filled that role on many occasions. Most were wonderful. It is amazing how hard it is to fill a corporate table for a fund raiser. Somehow employees think it will be dull. That’s ok, that’s where you will come in. Get those business cards rolling!
Woah! I thought I was kidding, but now I’m thinking I could be really on to something! I love the idea of creating Party Nuts for Hire business cards!
There were times when some seats went empty for my company and that doesn’t really look good. I am just not sure how you would advertise but it is a good idea!
Try it! You just might find yourselves overbooked!
We’d have to pace ourselves so I’d still be able to fit into my clothes! Could be too much of a good thing, but I’d be willing to make the sacrifice.
What a great idea. Will be watching to see if this actually works out. I still attend my former organization’s big annual event either gratis or as someone’s guest. I’ll miss it when it ends.
Who knows, what started out as a “tongue-in-cheek” post might actually turn into something. After I left my company I was happy to be invited to attend an event so maybe they’ll remember me in the future. Hopefully your annual gala participation will continue too!
I LOVE your idea! Can I be your East Coast branch manager? I too used to do corporate events, one of which was an annual fundraiser sponsored by Sony records. I met Sean John when he was Puff Daddy, president of Bad Boy records, BEFORE his career as an artist and fashion icon. I suspect our meeting might not have been as memorable to him as it was to me!
Of course you can be the East Coast branch manager of Party Nuts for Hire! I imagine Sony didn’t have a problem filing up the seats at their fundraisers.
I love this idea and am enjoying reading some of your posts. Sounds like we have a lot in common. Are you in the San Diego area? We are in the LA area. I was trying to figure out how to send a private message to you…it would be fun to talk live sometime!
Thank you for reading my posts! Yes, we live in San Diego and I agree that it sounds like we are on similar paths. I see an email address attached to your comment so I will send a message to it. If that works, you’ll have my email too. I’m not sure if WP has a private message system, although that sounds like a good idea!
This is hysterical. Just today, my husband suggested that we start a company called “Follow Me Tours” since we always seem to be somewhere other than home. Can’t quite figure out how to make it pay dividends, or even minor perks, but oh well. Isn’t it fun to have time to be silly?
If I could do things over again, I would have become a travel writer or a restaurant reviewer… or maybe a reviewer of restaurants in places I traveled to. I envy those who somehow find a way to earn a living doing exactly what they love to do. I think Follow Me Tours would be a good travel blog!