GratiTuesday: Lucky Thirteen


My husband and I were married thirteen years ago, on the thirteenth of September, after being together for thirteen years.

We didn’t plan it that way; it was just how everything happened to align.

One of my husband’s favorite anecdotes about our getting married is that he never really asked me to marry him.

It’s true, at least in the formal, romantic proposal, actually asking me sense…

A little over a year before we were married, we attended his high school reunion in northern California. I didn’t grow up in the same community so most of the people there were strangers to me. During the event, introductions were uncomfortable since most people assumed that I was his wife. Referring to me as his “date” wasn’t at all correct, “partner” sounded stiff and business-like, and I was certainly more than a “girlfriend” (by that time we owned a home together).

On our drive home, I told him how awkward I felt because we didn’t have a simple way to define our relationship to others. That’s when he very innocently said, “Well, maybe we should think about getting married.” Silly man… I was thinking that it was about time too and, before he knew what hit him, we had a date set and wedding plans beginning to form.


I am so very grateful for my husband and the life we have built together. Although it took us thirteen years to make it official, we’ve been together for twenty-six years and I’d happily marry him again today (whether he asked me or not). God knows we can drive each other crazy at times, but the inscription on our wedding invitation thirteen years ago is still true today:

This day I will marry my friend…

The one I laugh with, dream with,

live for and love.

Author: Janis @

My blog is about travel, relationships, photography, and whatever else pops into my head (even, sometimes, issues surrounding retirement and aging).

42 thoughts on “GratiTuesday: Lucky Thirteen”

  1. My husband didn’t ask me to marry him either! We still laugh about the fact that there was no formal proposal. We married exactly 13 months after the day we met though and now we’re about to celebrate our 40th anniversary!

  2. Ooow. That is so nice, Janis. The inscription is such a wonderful description of your wedding and your marriage. In Belgium, couples live together for a long time before they marry (if they marry). I truly think it is the way to go. Congratulations with your anniversary. Thirteen is my favorite number. Oh, and Mark never proposed to me either… until right before our ring “ceremony” on our wedding party with friends and family, years after the “official” ceremony. 🙂

  3. What a lovely memoir of your years together! And the photo of you two is beautiful. I’m happy for you and wish you many more years of life and love.


      1. Like you and your husband, we don’t do gifts either, just “consumables”. My favorites are craft beers and garlic-stuffed green olives.

  4. Wonderful story and congratulations! My hubby in fact asked me twice… the first time, in the middle of the parking lot on the way to my best high school friend’s wedding reception. Something like what your husband said – “hey, maybe we should get married too”. My response was… if you’re going to ask me that, you had better ask me correctly! Which he proceeded to do a couple of months later (playing on the second time asking component). We had only known each other for 6 months when he first asked me! He always says he was sure of it way before I was. We’re 24 years married. Like you, I too married my friend, who has become my best friend. I’m glad you married yours!

  5. Happy Belated Anniversary, Janis! Isn’t it wonderful being married to your best friend? My hubby and I celebrated our 31st anniversary this year on September 13th. And we were married on a Friday. Lucky thirteen, indeed!

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