GratiTuesday: Couple Friends

Enjoying the friendship of other couples is a delightful part of our marriage. I have female friends that I do gal things with and my husband has male friends he does guy things with. Although we like each other’s friends, sometimes when we’ve introduced a friend’s spouse to the mix, things haven’t clicked as well as we’d like. The spouse may be a delightful person on his or her own, but, for whatever reason, the group dynamic just doesn’t work.

When my husband and I discover a couple whose company we enjoy equally, we feel as if we’ve won the lottery. We know that when we get together as a foursome, the conversation will flow, and the time we spend together will be fun and engaging.

This past weekend, two blogging friends and I met up to discuss – what else? – blogging. This was not the first time I have gotten together with Donna from Retirement Reflections and Kathy from Smart Living 365, and I consider them good friends as well as fellow bloggers. I knew that the three of us would have plenty to talk about and I had been looking forward to our gathering for quite a while.

Kathy and her husband live in the community where we met, and Donna and her husband were staying close by in a home exchange. My husband and I drove a few hours from our home to join them for the weekend.

Knowing what wonderful husbands my friends have and knowing that my husband is pretty terrific too, I had no doubt that we’d enjoy each other’s company. What I didn’t anticipate – and was thrilled to discover – is how well all six of us meshed together. Even though blogging brought the three of us women together, I was delighted that our husbands enjoyed commonalities and mutual interests too.

Kathy and Thom, Donna and Richard, me and Paul enjoying a warm desert evening… oh, and wine.

I came away from our weekend together with much to be grateful for. I am grateful that Donna, Kathy and I were able to meet and talk about a subject that means a lot to us (more about that later). I am grateful for the generous hospitality that my husband and I were shown. Most of all, I am grateful that the six of us – husbands and wives – were able to break bread together, share our stories, and enjoy the bond of friendship.

Author: Janis @

My blog is about travel, relationships, photography, and whatever else pops into my head (even, sometimes, issues surrounding retirement and aging).

70 thoughts on “GratiTuesday: Couple Friends”

  1. It IS tricky to combine friends and spouses! We love it when it works, too, and some of our best combos have been forged while hiking. Nice to hear you had such a great weekend with not just one, but two friend couples!

  2. Meeting with another couple, and having a great time together is a n accomplishment, but doing that with three couples is major! Congratulations—I hope you six have many more happy occasions together!

  3. This is such a lovely post, Janis. Richard and I feel exactly the same. We had an awesome weekend. Although we just met Paul for the first time, we felt like we were all long-time friends!
    BTW – I used that exact same photo for the cover of my upcoming post. Great minds think alike!

  4. How lovely! As you describe, it really is often tricky when spouses are blended into the mix of friendship groups. Sounds like you had a tremendous experience. 🙂

  5. Very rare indeed for all to click. There is nothing better though, at least to me, than sitting and sharing comfortably. We have a couple that we have known a long time, and they are a pleasure to be around.

      1. You are lucky Janis. All my friends are scattered to the wind across the U.S. – many I’ve not seen in decades. I am grateful for social media to keep in touch now after rediscovering them after all these years, especially through Facebook.

  6. Beautifully expressed, Janis. What a lovely time you all had. It’s so nice to be with like-minded friends. This is a timely post, as Mark and I are staying with friends right now as well. We met them while sailing years ago and are having an amazing time with them. Fun weekends all around!

  7. Lovely! When it works it really works!

    I have found the same to be true for women friends of mine. Just because I like them both doesn’t mean that they will necessarily get along with each other or like each other.

    Three harmonious couples ~ ain’t obvious ~ well done. Looks like great fun!


  8. Lucky you! Blogging friendships are tricky enough, usually because of the geographical distance, let alone to find couple friendships in the mix, too. How fun.

    1. After following a blogger for a while, I often feel as if I know them pretty well (I’m not sure how accurate that is, but that’s how it feels). Spouses are another thing entirely. That being said, I’m pretty sure I’d like Zen-Den too 🙂

  9. That’s wonderful Janis. I know what you mean about couple friends, they don’t always happen. It makes your friendship that much stronger when your spouses get along. And if you all four get along – what a bonus! Glad you are having fun with fellow bloggers.

  10. How wonderful Janis! It sounds like each & every one of you thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. Wishing you continued friendship together!

  11. you are so right. It IS magical when everyone meshes so well. It is great when it happens with two couples, even more so with three. I’m glad you all had a wonderful time.

  12. We have several individual friends whose spouse does not mesh well. I thought it was just us as we always end up liking one person in the couple better than the other. Glad to hear I am not alone (and we do have couples where we all enjoy each other). This looks like a bloggers heaven. I’ve met up with 2 bloggers so far and both were great experiences. They were just like they seemed on their blog. Bloggers are so much more honest than say…people on a dating site! 🙂

    1. It would be hard to create and maintain a fake persona over several years of blogging so I also feel as if I know bloggers pretty well after following them for a while. The spouses, of course, are another issue entirely and can be a wild card.

  13. How rare it is indeed to have 3 couples connect and gel like that!!

    This blogging thing we do provides a wonderful opportunity to connect with like-minded people but to have that connection extend to the ‘real’ world AND include spouses is extraordinarily special!

  14. What a fabulous weekend you had! Love that picture. And you’ve got me thinking about couple friendships and how ours originated. The two (unconnected) couples we see most of both originated because John knew the man through work. This could have a meaning. Or not. As I say – thinking!

  15. Looks like you had fun! My wife and I have that problems with our separate friends; one of us doesn’t click with one of the spouses. In one instance, neither of us really like the wife of my friend, which makes it doubly hard. It’s nice when everyone gets along and has common interests. – Marty

  16. Totally get the fact that individual friendships don’t often translate into related ‘couples’ friendships. How extra special that all 6 of you get along so well! Your own mini-tribe. I’m envious! (in a good way – mostly just pleased for you and them!)
    Hubby and I have one couple as a ‘friendship couple’ – formed while each of us 4 were all single – it has truly stood the test of time and is very precious to us.

  17. I’m so happy you all had your get-together, Janis! Last year you and I went alone, but had a great time. I think my hubby would have loved hanging out with the group, and I wished we could have made the time this year. I personally enjoy when we have couple time, since I was single for so long after my divorce. I’m dealing with hubby’s single male friends all summer and into the fall, boy, do they need partners! Did you solve the blogging dilemmas of the world? I really missed that interaction!

  18. It is a rare find when two couples can come together and all four click, not to mention three couples. It looks like this was a lovely gathering.

  19. I’m so glad that you three blogger buddies had the chance to meet up along with your spouses, and that it was fun for everyone.

    The couple observation is interesting. I have four longtime female best friends, all with partners, but only one couple of the four “clicks” really well with both of us as a couple. However, since Rob and I met (11 years ago), we have also made new couple friends that we enjoy spending time with. I am not sure what makes the chemistry work in some cases but not in others.


    1. Hi Jude. I’m back from my break and just saw your comment. Couple friends are wonderful, aren’t they? My husband and I are having dinner tonight with my oldest friend (in years known, not age) and her husband. When our husbands first met several years ago, my friend and I had our fingers crossed. Fortunately, all four of us get along great!

  20. Hi We are Instagram friends. So when I saw this post on WordPress I had to read it. I totally agree with everything you say about friends and husbands. It is like winning the lottery win four of you bond. Anyway it’s nice to see you on another forum . I also have a blog on retirement titled retirement pleasures. @retirementpleasures part of the Instagram over 50 tribe!

    1. Hi Diane! Thank you for visiting and commenting! I’m very happy to meet another retirement blogger. I don’t do much with Instagram but I’m thrilled that you found my blog via that platform. I’m off to visit your blog!

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