The Spanish Art of Relaxing

Since this would be the first time either of us had visited Spain, our itinerary included three of the largest cities: Barcelona, Madrid, and Seville. It was tempting to add other cities, towns, and villages but we didn’t want our trip to become a whirlwind of rushed travel. A week’s stay in each of the three cities seemed just about right.

Many guidebooks list the top attractions to see if you are in a location for a short amount of time (one, two, or three days, for example) and, frankly, that sounds exhausting. Because we had more time in each city, we could not only sightsee, but also relax, people watch, and enjoy a less frenzied pace.

Sightseeing is hard work
Relaxing in Seville

Turns out, this less-packed itinerary was the perfect way to embrace Spain and its relaxed lifestyle. It was not unusual to see outdoor cafes full of groups of people in the afternoon, enjoying a glass of wine, sharing a few tapas, and actually talking to each other. If a table was full of people staring at their phones, it was an excellent chance they weren’t Spaniards.   

In the U.S., I would feel guilty sitting at a restaurant table for a long time and only ordering a glass of wine. I was a server long ago and turning tables quickly was not only what the management wanted, it helped to increase my tips. Besides, since the customers often were on their way somewhere else, they appreciated getting in and out.

Not so in Spain. They seemingly have perfected the art of chill. That doesn’t mean they don’t work hard too, it’s just that they have successfully compartmentalized the two.

Tapas in Barcelona
Paella in Madrid

Because we often had no particular place to be, my husband and I enthusiastically embraced this lifestyle. After an afternoon of sightseeing, we’d find an empty table in the shade, order a glass of (inexpensive and mostly very good) wine, and watch the world go by. We weren’t in a hurry, but, best of all, the servers didn’t seem to be in a hurry either. When we wanted our check, we’d have to catch their eye and request it, then wait a while longer for it to come. We never felt rushed to leave so they could seat another party.

When we travel, we seldom purchase souvenirs or other items we really don’t need. But Spain’s slower paced way of living was one keepsake we vowed to carry with us when we returned home.

I am submitting this post to Deb and Donna‘s What’s Been on Your Plate link-up. Check out their posts as well as the posts of other contributors.

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Author: Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com

My blog is about travel, relationships, photography, and whatever else pops into my head (even, sometimes, issues surrounding retirement and aging).

100 thoughts on “The Spanish Art of Relaxing”

    2. That has to be one of the best keepsakes that one could keep, and, yes, like the old saying goes “you sometimes have to slow down to go faster”?

  2. Hi, Janis – I love how you and Paul embraced Spain’s slow and mindful way of being during your current travels. That sounds like the perfect keepsake to bring back home with you. The tapas and paella that you feautured here look incredible!
    BTW – This is a perfect ‘What’s Been on Your Calendar’ post (currently active on Sue’s, Debbie’s, Jo’s or my site) and/or a perfect ‘What’s Been on Your Plate’ post (going live on WBA’s and my site this coming Wednesday).

    1. I must have some Spanish blood somewhere in my ancestry 🙂 That lifestyle was pretty easy to embrace.

      I thought about connecting to What’s Been on Your Calendar but since this didn’t take place in June, I figured it wouldn’t fit. What’s Been on Your Plate could definitely work, though.

      1. We all need more of that type of Spanish blood in us! Definitely post with us for What’s On Your Plate. That linkup begins at midnight tomorrow night (Tuesday). Hope to see you there!

  3. Janis, I totally agree regarding a week to enjoy a city, and that is exactly what we did. Trying to see to much it does become a blur. Seville was a favourite seemed to have more “locals” than perhaps tourists plus a good combination of old and new. How about you?

    1. Seville was a favorite too and we enjoyed exploring many different areas of the city. We found that it took a few days in each city to just get our bearings and feel comfortable (where to shop for food, where to get coffee in the morning, etc.). After that, we could relax and enjoy.

  4. That sounds awesome. I’d just swap the wine for beer. We often stop in the afternoon for a pint or perhaps an ice cream. With supper being so much later it makes sense to snack (I will admit that’s my strong suit). What a smart way to travel and a good concept to bring home.

      1. We found that in Portugal, we were the first ones there, and by the time we were finished, the place was hopping. Families included. In Portugal, finding anyone overweight was rare…

  5. You certainly have the right idea about vacationing. It’s all about relaxing and taking time to really see — and be — and appreciate where you are.

  7. The Spanish have mastered the art of the sobramesa–a long, slow meal where everyone relaxes, chats and plans to spend at least 2 hours. Didn’t take you long to get into that groove, Janis. It is so tempting to flit quickly through the sightseeing, but the slow travel is the way to go. A fun read with good ideas for future reference 😁☕️🍷

  12. My understanding is that, in France, being a waiter is a career choice and one to be proud of. Since they don’t work for tips, they don’t need to flip tables. I’m guessing it’s like that in other European countries, including Spain, too. I’ll admit that it’s sometimes difficult for me to tamp down my internal “go go go American” when I’m in Europe. I don’t need to rush through a meal by any means, but when I’m finished eating, I usually don’t like to just sit and linger. Trying to get the check has been a source of mild annoyance all over Europe for me, but that’s a “me problem,” not a “them problem.” Off to France and Andorra soon, so I’ll have a chance to practice chilling out a bit more.

    1. We Americans often have to re-train ourselves to chill out a bit. We did a lot of walking and sightseeing, but being able to linger over a glass of wine and tapas afterwards was the perfect way to end the day. I plan a post on the whole us vs. them tipping situation later.

  15. We used to live in Spain for a year. We loved the food and the inland but at the south coast we found it much too touristy for our taste and not at all Spanish anymore. We liked the north coast and its hinterland. Nevertheless Spain wouldn’t been my choice of a country to retire.
    Thanks & cheers
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    1. As much as we wanted to see these three major cities (since it was our first visit to Spain), I know we’ll chose differently next time. Smaller towns, not as touched by tourists. We didn’t get to the south coast, but I would like to visit Morocco. Spain probably wouldn’t be on my places to retire list either, but what we saw was lovely. Thanks for your comment!

      1. We loved travelling in the Moroccan desert, then going to Tamanrasset and east to Timbuktu.
        But we retired in Sweden and England. We like the Nordic countries and the climate there. We can’t stand all the time sunshine and warm.
        Have fun
        The Fab Four of Cley
        🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  16. How lovely and fun! When I was in Spain during college, I made a point to get paella because I remembered it was famous from my 11th grade Spanish report! 😛

    All that relaxing sounds wonderful. 🙂

      1. Excellent! I remember my friends and I ordered several types then just took bites and passed the dishes around in a circle so we could all share. Wish I could remember which variety was my favorite.

  17. This sounds like the perfect place for us, Janis. I would love to visit Spain. Both Vince and I have some knowledge of Spanish. He was an interpreter in the service and I taught a bilingual class and had to learn rudimentary Spanish. I’d have problems learning the lisp, but I think it would be fun to visit. which of the three cities did you love the most?

    1. We can speak some Spanish also (Mexican Spanish, but mostly the same) which helped us read and communicate. We found that they speak really, really fast (as opposed to how the eat and linger) so we often had to ask them to slow down 🙂 Of course, in Barcelona, they also speak Catalan, so all bets are off. I don’t think I can pick a favorite city as they were so different from one another and had pluses and minuses (mostly pluses).

  18. “If a table was full of people staring at their phones, it was an excellent chance they weren’t Spaniards.” Interesting observation.

    I’ve experienced the same slow dining, sitting, quaffing in Germany as well.

    What a wonderful way to explore the world.

  19. I love your idea of “sightseeing.” I could get behind that myself.

    Americans definitely suck at compartmentalization. We could learn a lot from our European brethren!

  21. What a wonderful way to visit another country! (Or anywhere else, for that matter.) I also like to see the “top attractions” of the places I visit, but don’t want that to be the whole experience. Like you, I prefer to just relax and soak in the local atmosphere. I think that’s a better way to understand a new place or culture.

    1. If we just visit the top attractions (along with the throngs of tourists) we miss so much of the experience. We saw some amazing sights – things that I had only read about before – but our memories are mostly made up of the little moments we enjoyed.

  22. A question I once heard was are you a tourist or a traveler. Tourist being the once with a list of must see places and rush around. Whereas, travelers embrace more local sites and take it all in embracing the culture. I enjoy being a traveler and sounds like our Spain trip plan let you also be a traveler! So much better to have the time to adjust, get your bearings, and even research what to go see by talking to the locals.

  24. I enjoyed reading this post Janis and remembering my trip back in 1974 and how nearly 50 years ago, the mindset was the same. It was like a Mexican siesta as everyone took a break and stopped at the equivalent of an outside cafe (more like an outside bar) to sip wine (often Sangria) and eat tapas. I was game to try anything once, including the food, but a few things I could not do … the tapas at the places we often frequented had shrimp that had not been deveined and the shrimp were in an icy bucket and thrown for a half-minute onto the grill. I couldn’t eat them like that and also for tapas they had pickled eels that looked like pencils in a pencil box. My friends each ordered Bouillabaisse so I felt I should too. The floating fish heads did me in and I couldn’t eat it but all the rest of the food was delicious. We visited her family and the kids drank wine – not teenagers, but under ten. They had some with dinner. I love that the laid-back atmosphere was still the same for you.

    I did not go to Barcelona or Seville, just Madrid and our trip up and down the Costa del Sol from Madrid to Gibralter and back. Did you see any flamenco dancing? We went to a small club – it was fun and I had to buy some castanets which, of course, I never used again after that night. 🙂

    1. We went on a tapas food tour in Seville and had some… ummmm…. interesting selections. Like you, we had great ones and ones that weren’t so wonderful. But, it’s all part of the experience, huh?

      We didn’t see any flamenco because the places they performed all seemed overly touristy.

      1. Yes, it is part of the overall experience. We went to some small places to eat, family owned, great food … very enjoyable. The flamenco dancers were at a small out-of-the-way place along the coast. Our touristy things were Alhambra in Granada and the Prado Museum.

  25. This is the perfect way to indulge in a country, Janis, especially one that has a slow-paced name or life attached to it. In affordable Colombia – and even in Ecuador at times – we happily grabbed a table on a square for a drink or treat, or, more often, a bench in the park to people watch.

    One of the main reasons why I love my own camper lifestyle sooooo much is that we never (rarely) have to rush. Being able to take our time and immerse ourselves into cultures, scenery, and countries is joyous and rewarding.

    1. I really think that a slower lifestyle is the healthier way to live. All the rush-rush in the US can’t be good for us. Funny thing is that the stress seems to lead to more alcohol consumption (and drug use). Even though many people enjoyed a late afternoon glass of wine, they didn’t overindulge. The point was to relax and enjoy talking with friends, not self-medication.

  26. This brought back memories of my trip to Barcelona. It was also so relaxing. Glad you enjoyed your time in Spain.

  27. Perfecting the “art of the chill” sounds just about perfect to me. I hope you brought some of that wonderful relaxation home with you! 🙂

  28. In the early days of our time in Madrid, we were very antsy to get the bill after our late and leisurely meals! C’mon, why can’t they bring it … it’s 11 pm … where is that guy? Of course this was after we realized we needed to wait until at least 9 and more like 10 to even order dinner. But then the magic happened, and we learned to sit and sip and sit and eat slowly and sit some more. Awesome stuff – we need to do more of that! I’m envious of your nice long stay in Spain; seems like you had a great trip.

    1. It took us some time to get used to that relaxed style of eating, but we liked it once we learned to appreciate the opportunity to just be. One thing we couldn’t quite get used to were the later hours. We continued to eat and get to bed earlier (less crowded restaurants 🙂 ) because our bodies were used to it.

  29. That sounds like the perfect way to travel, Janis. The chill atmosphere and leisurely pace is, I think, the best way to explore a new place. And the food… that looks wonderful too. Welcome home.

  30. I love your approach to travel! That’s how we travel, too. And also how we prefer to live daily life. It can be challenging in a new place to want to see and do everything, and I admit that we definitely see and do a lot when we’re traveling. But we also always take time for a leisurely and relaxing picnic in the midst of a hike, or a long lunch if we’re exploring in a city followed by an afternoon coffee break in an interesting cafe.

    That shrimp tapas dish and the paella look fantastic!

    1. It was nice to have enough time to both see what we wanted to see and have the opportunity to relax and watch the world go by. I think that we can miss so much with a go-go lifestyle. Although we aren’t afternoon coffee drinkers, we did love our afternoon ice cream breaks.

  32. I love this concept. This is the perfect way to travel. Actually, it is the perfect way to live in retirement. And I really want to have that paella while savoring a good glass of wine!

    1. You are so right that this way of living resembles retirement for many of us. I love having no particular schedule most of the time. I would also like a paella and a glass of wine now that I’m back home… so good. Thanks for your comment!

  35. The relaxed way to enjoy life in Spain sounds appealing to me, now that I am retired I can embrace a less hurried lifestyle, even tho I remain busy.

    1. Like many retirees, I feel busier now than I did when I was working (although I admit much of the busyness is fun busyness). We often have to remind ourselves to take a break and breathe. Naps and novels are good for slowing down. 🙂

  36. Well, this is so cool, Janis. I’m popping over here because you were so kind to visit my blog. And here you are writing about Spain, a country that my husband and I talk of visiting. I love the idea of taking it slow. I’ve never been much for seeing top attractions. When I visit a new place, I prefer to act as if I live there, get a feel for the day-to-day life of a city’s citizens. Having a glass of wine while people watching sounds like ideal.

    1. Because this was our first trip, we wanted to see many of the major sights and museums we had read about (and, for me, studied, since I took many art history courses in college) but next time we’ll go to less traveled places. We were surprised at the number of tourists we saw many places, especially since we were traveling in the shoulder season. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  37. Sounds like a wonderful trip! We’re trying to learn to have a more relaxed mindset about travel now that we’re retired, but it’s a struggle. The “hurry, hurry, hurry” mindset seems to have been ingrained in us.

  38. I’ve been to Spain once upon a time and how you describe it now is how I remember it then. I’m glad you had a lovely time and took a few pics along the way. I want to go back.

  39. Hi Janis, we spent several days in Barcelona with our daughter when she studied there during college, and we visited Seville while on a cruise, but we’ve never been to Madrid. What we did see of Spain, we loved and have always planned to go back. I like the way you did it with one week in each place. Did you Airbnb for those weeks or go through a local real estate company? How were your accommodations? Did you run across a lot of expats there? Portugal and Spain seem to be the big draws these days.

    1. Because we were only staying a week in each city, we mostly booked hotels. There are definitely pluses and minus to go this way, which I hope to turn into a post one of these days 🙂 My next post, which is about half-way done, deals a bit with expats, mostly in Portugal.

  40. We were on a cruise a few years ago and visited several ports in Spain. It was a very busy visit but when it was over we ended in Barcelona and spent three relaxing days there. We too spent a lovely time sitting in shade in one of the squares, having a glass of wine and watching all the locals strolling with their families on a Sunday afternoon.

  42. It applies equally to Portugal, too, as I expect you found out, especially as you go further from the cities. I loved my 6 day trip to Barcelona, and I’ve wandered Seville a few times but not been to Madrid. All very different but very Spanish, and it’s a world away from Portugal, though it’s right next door.

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