Something has been missing from my world lately. Normally a bright-sider optimist, I have found myself feeling worried and uncertain and it has dampened my mood, affected my sleep, and sapped some of the joy from my life. My Happy Place has been infiltrated by uninvited squatters, and I want to get it back.
I know that I’m not alone; many bloggers I follow have written about their feelings of anxiety and discomfort. In fact, Jo’s post this morning has prompted me to finish writing down the thoughts that I’ve been struggling with for a few weeks now.
How do I maintain my optimism when there is so much to be concerned about? Burying my head in the sand just isn’t in my DNA but I also realize that there is only so much I can do that has an impact: email, call, donate, support, resist. Worrying, losing sleep, and doom-scrolling aren’t healthy or helpful.
I’m lucky. There are many things in my life that are pleasurable, positive, and bring me joy. Connecting with others through my blog is one of them. I haven’t felt like writing lately – every topic seemed so trivial in face of current events – but I miss the sharing and positive interactions with the blogosphere. I realize now that evicting the squatters and reclaiming my Happy Place can be my small, personal form of resistance.
As Jo wrote about her photo of the Eastern Algarve shoreline that she shared in her post: “I look at this photo and I’m filled with wonder at the breathless beauty of our world.”
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Thank you so much, Janis. There is only so much we can do as individuals, but it’s wonderful to know that we stand together on not losing the beauty in our lives xx
I think it’s helpful to surround ourselves with people who lift us up and remind us of the good in the world… and there is a lot of good.
There is, and always has been, even in darkest times xx
Yes to this, Janice. I don’t know if I can hang on 24/7, but I sure will reach for any extra rope to reclaim my happy place. Nature and humor and love and kindness. . .
I think we can all do better if we embrace nature, humor, love, and kindness. I just need to remember that I’m not much good if all I’m feeling is hopelessness.
Hi Janis! I so agree that we do what we can but we MUST NOT give away our ability to stay hopeful and “happy” in spite of circumstances we can’t control. And then remembering and then acknowledging that something that makes you happy is connecting with others on your blog is genius. We have to do what we can to restore our sense of well being or we aren’t going to be good for anything–including helping to make the world a better place. I’m happy you’ve found something that works for you!!! ~Kathy
When I acknowledged that I was eroding my own happiness by giving into despair, I realized that I needed to make some changes. Just limiting my news consumption has helped. Btw, awesome turnout in Tucson today!
That is an incredibly gorgeous photo Janis. It makes me smile and feel calm…and also wishing I was seeing it in person 😉 Find a bit of good each day, that’s what I’ve been doing. It does help.
Yes! There is so much good and letting myself worry and lose sleep doesn’t help. We need our strength!
We do live in a beautiful world. That’s a gorgeous photo. I know things are a mess around me, but I wake up feeling blessed to be able to breathe, to be able to walk in spite of breaking my hip, to be rid of cancer, to have a new safe home we can afford in a place among friends. I could go on, but these are good reminders to myself.
Those are great reminders, Marsha. I have much to be thankful for… and where I can help others who struggle, I will. You and I have a few things in common health-wise and we are so lucky!
Definitely! Still smiling and breathing!
I hear you 100% Janis. With all of the current chaos surrounding us, I have been trying hard to stay informed and stay sane in the process. I have been doing all that I can to stand united with like-minded individuals and make a difference. Small things (including publicly discussing politics on my social media and blog which I have never done before). I believe that all of our individual efforts do add up. And doing them has been helping to keep me sane while uniting me with others. ❤
I have also felt the need to be more vocal even as I try to limit my exposure to the constant craziness. I love how Canadians are pushing back where they have financial impact. I hope efforts to buy Canadian and restricting travel to the US keeps up. I hope cross-border travel into Canada continues to be open… I love your country!
I agree with you Janis. I feel these days there is little to be thankful for – I remain grateful for my good health and my ability to use my five senses to enjoy nature. I also am guilty of doom-scrolling, then say I say I won’t, but I feel I have a need to know, so I’m back at it again. Your happy place is beautiful. I am grateful for my blogging buddies because as a person with no family and friends who have all moved here, there and everywhere, it is nice to know we can reach out to each other across the miles.
Like you, I’m trying to find my comfort zone somewhere between keeping informed and ingesting too much negativity. Although I don’t see myself blogging again about what’s going on (I want this page to be my Happy Place), it is good to share our concerns, support, and insights with each other.
I agree Janis – the blogging community is a godsend right now for all of us.
Thank you for this post. As I read it , I thought-‘that’s me!’- it seemed to reflect all my jumbled emotions. Every day, if not every hour, there is a new development that brings me to the brink of despair. But I won’t let all the cruelty and thoughtless actions win. We need to keep moving forward and to do so, we can’t let all this nonsense get us down! Thanks, again!
Sometimes I think the upset and getting us down is part of the plan. We will probably continue to have jumbled emotions but there will be opportunities to get involved and make a difference. Like you said: we need to keep moving forward!
I wake up each day and wonder where the country is that i was born in and used to live in. I do not recognize it and unfortunately too old and physically incapable of emigrating to another place (and no place feels safe anymore)…
If we were a decade or so younger, we might look into the possibility of immigration also (for many reasons), but I think we are here to stay. Fortunately, I’ve never felt unsafe in a foreign country (of course, I don’t travel in high-conflict areas). There are good people everywhere.
It’s great that the blogosphere is a happy place for you. It is for me, too. Thank you for sharing your recent struggles. I hope things improve quickly for you.
Hi Anne. Yes, this is a happy place and I’m grateful to be a part of it. 🙂
I am in a state of disbelief. How could this be happening?
I worry that the damage that is being done to our democracy and to our planet won’t be able to be undone.
It’s hard to imagine how… but that’s where we are. I think as more people are directly impacted, there will be more push back.
Good post. Some days rise so far into the absurd that it can’t be ignored, and it saps the life right out of me. However, I do not have or wish to give the next four years of my life away so I will fight each day to find joy and comfort in the world around me while resisting to the extent that I can. Happy Sunday.
You are exactly right, Judy. Falling into despair doesn’t benefit anyone. That’s why I wanted to try to get my angst out in a single post and move forward. 🙂
I love the phrase “doom-scrolling.” That’s exactly what it is, and why I’ve had to give it up too. I have had sleepless nights and moments of just feeling terrified, but will resist those as well and do what I had to keep a balance here, between being aware of what’s going on and resisting, and taking care of myself and those in my world. It is tough…four years will be a long time.
We all must find the balance that works for us. Four years is exactly the same amount of time whether I am in a constant state of despair or I am finding joy and enjoying my life.
That is so true, and very wise!
Glad you are finding a way to get some balance. The craziness that is going on is causing a lot of anxiety in the world. Finding some positive makes a huge difference.
I hope that the anxiety that many of us are feeling will transition into something more positive as time goes on. I love how Canadians have found a unified – and effective – way to demonstrate their strength.
Hey, Janis! I feel you on this. I have been too focused on the things that are out of my control and that’s making me restless and anxious. I love how you talked about this blogging community. It is definitely one of my happy places too and I have not been paying attention to it recently. Sometimes, we need one of those reminders (or blog posts) telling us to slow down and take a break while shifting our mental focus on to something positive. Thank you for that 🙂
A continued state of anxiety doesn’t do anyone any good… and can cause us harm. I can’t wish away my feelings, but I can focus on embracing the things that fulfill me and give me joy. Where I can make a difference, I will… where I can’t, I’ll leave that to others. Good luck on finding your balance. 🙂
Even the brightest dawns wrestle with the weight of night. To feel the world’s tremors is to be alive—but to answer them with connection, joy, and quiet defiance is to remain human. The squatters may linger, but they need not own the lease. Cheers! 🏄♂️
Fabulous words of optimism and hope! The squatters are giving me a bit of a hard time but I’m pushing them out the door and changing the key.
Power to the People! I’m watching the Fight the Oligarchy Tour with great interest and a glimmer of hope. The spirit behind “Elbows up” can work for Americans too!
Deb
I love all the enthusiasm behind the FtOT! I don’t see any upcoming dates in Southern California (we are pretty Blue) but I’ve signed up for notices. We can definitely raise our Elbows Up! here too. 🙂
Janis, I can very much relate. I’m feeling the despair on so many fronts (personal loss, community loss [another friend is moving away as she cannot handle the thought of another hurricane], and now my country that I believed in is being dismantled/lost). Some days it’s hard to push through. Therapy is helping. Daily gratitude is helping, as is staying connected to others – IRL and virtually. Limiting news and doom-scrolling is hard as I want to stay informed. It’s so hard to know what I can do without feeling even more hopeless. Thanks for letting us/me know we are (I am) not alone.
You have been through – and continue to go through – so much over the last year. I’m sorry that your friend is moving away. I can understand her reason, but it must be hard to say good-bye to another connection for you. I’m glad that therapy is helping… many of us might find that beneficial too.
our world around us is falling apart. My husband is battling esophageal cancer.My motto has been everyday do or find something that makes you happy. Have hope and prayer. Also I read two news papers that spread nice stuff . One is called Nice News . The other is called the Grayvine. Both online.check them out!I usually only read blogs but I think I need to comment more.
I’m so sorry about your husband’s struggle. I will keep both of you in my thoughts.
Your commitment to search for the good every day is so important no matter what challenges we face. I see beauty around me and connect with interesting, friendly people daily and I need to remember that.
Thank you for your comment and those wonderful suggestions of reading material. I looked both of them up and I will add them to my daily read.
I feel this too and it’s not good for mine (or anyone’s) health. We have limited news watching but it still creeps in. In the back of my head I wonder why more people don’t see what I see. That’s disturbing too.
It puzzles me too. I bet it helps to hug your kitties. We could probably learn a lesson from their blissful ignorance. 🙂
They are the best anti-depressants.
I can relate to the inability to write something meaningful when the world or life seems far too complicated to put into words. “What’s the point?” seems to pop for me, and then I realise things happen for a reason, though sometimes I wish the universe would be more articulate than I am.
“What’s the point?” is something I’ve asked myself a lot lately when I’ve sat down to write. In order to regain my mental well-being, I’ve decided that “the point” is to continue doing what I love rather than giving into doubt.
Pushing through that self doubt will I’m sure create more meaningful writing on your part.
Your photo is beautiful and enjoying nature certainly helps. As I said to Jo, things can change for good when you least expect it so we have to cling on to hope. For example, I didn’t foresee the Berlin Wall falling when it did, or apartheid ending, or peace coming to Northern Ireland. None of those situations is perfect but they are better. Life goes on.
I saw that comment on Jo’s post and I thought it was such a good reminder. Sometimes we get so far into the weeds that it’s hard to see the sunshine. Thank you for your words of hope.
They are my three go-to examples, though I try not to think that I have been using them since the invasion of Iraq! So maybe I need to find some newer hopeful events😏.
I think a lot of people feel exactly like you right now, Janis. Except maybe the people who apparently had such an awful, unhappy, miserable life before that they felt the need to put everyone’s life in jeopardy, last November. And we are still the ones that worry… It’s hard to find a happy place, these months. Even for us, outside of the US.
Even as far away as you are, it’s probably impossible to escape the 24-hour news cycle. I hope you aren’t worried about reentering the country (assuming you even want to) when the time comes. I’ve read some horror stories of people being detained.
Hi Janis,
Mark is reading those horror stories as well. Just yesterday, he mentioned how happy he is we dealt with my citizenship a few years ago. I have a US passport now, so I should be okay entering again. Not that I’m keen to do so. But, half of my family lives there, so I can’t not go back. We shall see what happens.
It’s hard to stay optimistic and calm in the face of all this chaos, but I think it is very important that we at least try. We can only do our best to address the troubles of the world, and then after that, we just have to trust that things will work out and tend to our own gardens, so to speak. Thank you for the reminder int his post!
“Tend our own gardens”… I love that! Although I can’t ignore the troubling events, I can choose how to respond. 🙂
Oh, friend. Hang in there. Reaching out to others through blogging is something I definitely agree is an amazing mood boost. I’m glad you chose this route. And, agree–amazing photo!
The connections we’ve made here are amazing (my non-blogging friends have no clue). When I felt myself pulling away because I didn’t know what words made sense, I realized that I was choosing angst over happiness. Silly me. 🙂
Good that you recognized that, and good that you pointed it out for the rest of us!
I’ve thought about current events, the seriousness of said, and wondered if I should continue writing my light-hearted quirky blog. On the one hand, it’s entirely optional, but on the other hand I decided the best resistance to The Donald is to keep on, keeping on. Like the proverbial small pebble in a moccasin, I can irritate from my within my little blog world.
Oh yeah, Ms PebbleBean, that’s so you! 😉
Ha! Nicely said.
I love this, Ally! We will just keep on keeping on and when it’s needed, become small pebbles of resistance.
The times when my depression has claimed me and given me a really good beating are when I’ve let my guard slide down and have stopped my regular self-care practices. All of which goes to say – yes, claim back your happy place. As you’re already doing what you can do, it’s so necessary to allow yourself some respite, otherwise the negativity takes you over and you lose what makes you uniquely you. Claim the joy in your daily life, especially the small joys, ‘cos the fight isn’t only on the big stage, but on the small one.
Very wise words! It can be easy to feel overwhelmed and unable to make a difference. It’s important to remind ourselves to look for the pockets of joy in our world, but also for opportunities to make a real impact.
(I tried commenting twice before, let’s see if this one takes – sorry if there are repeats)
I get it, Janis. I’m just now beginning to feel like I’m ‘on the other side’ in that I’m actively trying to maintain a balanced life. No denials of the harsh & scarey realities of these times, but not gonna succumb to being overwhelmed to the point of uselessness…I know you get that, too! BTW: a poet blogger I follow wrote a post about the same time as you wrote this one and you each complement each other’s reclamation-of-self. You might like to take a look https://www.khayaronkainen.fi/the-insistence-on-beauty/
I’ve missed your blogs and here you are! Thanks for the post. Look at all the conversation! I love the analogy of squatters. Dealing with that too, so thanks for the amusing visual. At the end of the comments, I was pleased to see that picture of us together when we met in SD (at least it popped up in my view) ……another bonus. Let’s quick those squatters out, one swift kick at a time.
I started the year thinking that I’d be blogging more but discovered, after a couple of posts, that I just wasn’t “feeling” it. I think now that I’ve put my feelings out there – and find that many are experiencing similar angst – I am more able to compartmentalize and continue to do what makes me happy. Btw, I didn’t see the picture you saw… how odd, but a nice reminder of a fun meet-up.
(I tried commenting three times before, let’s see if this one takes – sorry if there are repeats)
I get it, Janis. I’m just now beginning to feel like I’m ‘on the other side’ in that I’m actively trying to maintain a balanced life. No denials of the harsh & scarey realities of these times, but not gonna succumb to being overwhelmed to the point of uselessness…I know you get that, too! BTW: a poet blogger I follow wrote a post about the same time as you wrote this one and you each complement each other’s reclamation-of-self.
(I listed her link in the other comments, so maybe that’s why this didn’t ‘take’).
Her post focuses on insisting upon finding the beauty in the everyday regardless of all that’s going on and states: “This is not to escape reality, but to build the strength to face it.”
So now I’ll push send again, friend.
So sorry, Laura. It must have been the link (which I looked at, thanks!) that put your previous comments into moderation. I’ll delete those since this one made it through – thank you for your persistence!
I’m so happy to know that you have found a good balance. I think we all are trying to discover that for ourselves. We know what we have to do (stop immersing ourselves in the overwhelming bad news) while remaining well informed and involved.
“We know what we have to do (stop immersing ourselves in the overwhelming bad news) while remaining well informed and involved. ” Well put!
On the contrary, I seek out trivial topics now. They feel like a refuge in the crazy storm. The trivialer, the betterer!
Your approach makes so much more sense than to wallow in the angsty mud.
It’s much more liberating.
Informed versus ingesting or worse indigestion. I haven’t struck the right balance yet, that’s for sure. Like Donna, my blog has become more political (working on a Gaza post right now), and I miss the fun fluffy days. But I can’t stick my head in the sand, and for the next 38 days, I will be immersed in our election. But connecting with people who feel the same despair about the status of the world certainly helps.
Hi Bernie. I’ve appreciated your recent posts about current events, especially from a Canadian’s point of view. I will be watching your upcoming election with great interest too.
There is a lot of talk about election interference and one can, sadly, imagine where the concern lays.
I think a lot of us are struggling right now. Thanks for the reminder to hold on to what makes us happy.
Although I dislike where we are, it’s good to know that we have strength in our numbers. A happy warrior is probably more useful than one mired in the chaos.
Thanks for this reminder, Janis. I have not been my usual happy self lately either. I have attributed it to the fact that we have been busier than I like to be lately. But maybe it is more than that. Either way, your post is a good reminder to find that personal happy place and rebalance our souls.
We can all get down in the dumbs from time-to-time… for lots of reasons. I have had a bit of a cloud over my head and felt the need to remind myself of the good in the world. I love “rebalance our souls”!
It’s good that you’ve shared your struggle, and also the beauty of our natural world. Because, frankly, the natural world will always (hopefully) be our solace when the humans in power let us down. It is frustrating to feel so powerless, but I have a feeling that those of us who care will be called upon when it matters most. Despair and cynicism must not triumph!
Absolutely, Eilene. We need to find the balance between being aware of what is happening and continuing to enjoy our lives and find the beautiful and good in the world.
I resonated with your comment: “I haven’t felt like writing lately – every topic seemed so trivial in face of current events…” I’ve felt the same, Janis, but similar to you, I don’t want to lose these wonderful connections. They give me hope. I’m also trying to prevent our despicable leaders from stealing my joy along with everything else. It’s hard to find a balance though, so I’m a ping-pong ball! Sigh. I’ll get into my garden this morning before the rain comes and try to hang onto the delight in that. Thanks for sharing your heart. Have a peaceful day.
Although I’m determined to get back to writing about things that make me happy, I can’t/won’t ignore what is happening to our country. Knowing that others who I respect feel similarly does help. Even though we may not want our blogs to become mired in political angst, I like to envision us holding each other’s hands in solidarity and support.
That’s a lovely image. ❤
I’ve been in much the same place when it comes to writing a blog post. So I’ve just not written anything in three months. But I agree with everything you said, and I agree with the conclusion you’ve come to. We all need to stick together in these unsettling times. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. ❤️
Funny, I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were doing. I’m not at all surprised that you feel the same way. It’s hard to generate happy topics when you feel like you are being slapped around by current events. Are you still in Florida, or have you returned to beautiful NC?
There are days I can barely rally. I don’t have much that I can add to what you’ve shared, but I had to at least add my name as someone who is struggling as well. I lost my husband eleven months ago, and he would have been my “sounding board.” With no one to hear me incessantly gripe, I’m at a double loss! 💔
Thank you for your comment, Debra. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since your husband passed away. My husband is my sounding board and my support as we try to make sense of the senselessness. If you ever get down my way, I would love to meet. All incessant griping welcome.
This is so spot on, Janis. I work hard at not allowing myself to doom scroll. (TBH, I think cat and horse videos have replaced the news I used to peruse.) “I haven’t felt like writing lately – every topic seemed so trivial in face of current events.” Me too!
Although I’m glad I’m not alone (not that I thought I’d be), I’m sorry that so many of us are feeling the angst. I hope that soon we’ll have a clearer idea of what we – as the majority – can do. Doing nothing doesn’t feel right or empowering.
Writing letters and supporting protests in whatever way we can is not nothing. I also try to remind myself that our feelings of angst were being felt for a long time by many of the swing voters who lofted the orange blob over the line. I’ve learned this from my work with Braver Angels. It’s a difficult concept to embrace, but there are always more sides to a perspective than the ones we own. I think (hope) that many of those voters are realizing that they got more than they bargained for.
I get it, Janis. I started dipping my toe into blogging again because I needed to create that safe space for myself. I decided I’d write about the happy moments, not the things that cause me worry and fear. So far that means writing about my garden. We will do what we can, of course, but these days just noting the wind blowing through the trees and other small wonders help to keep me in balance.
My garden is one of my happy places too. Even though most of it is low-maintenance, I love just being outdoors and enjoying the beauty and fragrances. It’s a good reminder that Mother Earth will continue on despite our human failings. I’m glad that you are blogging again… I just resubscribed!
Hi Janis,
Thanks for sharing about what is going on (and I am going to check out Jo’s post right after this) – and whew, I know sometimes things can feel so heavy (we call it HOY – for heavy on you) and it sounds like you are bringing every negative though captive – and getting rid of those squatters. Oh and that photo “Tucson sunset” – was powerful and matched the empowering vibe in your post here.
Sorry for the late reply… I’m buried in emails and missed it. Things are still HOM but I think I’m starting to deal with it better. Too many good things to let the bad things overwhelm, right?
well said – but it can feel heavy at times and it is a good thing when we still feel and get moved – but do have to watch the toll it takes and so you are so right about seeing the good things.