This is the fourth post in my series, Organizing My Life, my ongoing project to create a roadmap for when I am no longer in the driver’s seat.
There it was. Mixed in with various Facebook posts about exotic vacations, family celebrations, and funny memes, was a notice of a friend’s passing. She had moved away several years ago and, although we weren’t especially close, we had stayed in sporadic touch via social media. I had no idea that she was even sick.
This was the third time in several years that I have learned of a friend’s death via Facebook. In each case, the woman’s husband had shared the sad news on his wife’s account. As tough as it must have been to write that post, I was grateful to have been notified.
As part of my ongoing Organizing My Life project, I have set up a password manager and made lists of various accounts and important contact information. What I hadn’t thought about were my social media accounts and what should be done with them when I’m no longer, shall we say, socially active. While my neglected Instagram and little used BlueSky and Pinterest accounts could probably be left to wither in the ether, what about my Facebook account and this blog? I imagine that they could be left open and untended, but have you ever received a Facebook birthday reminder from a friend who you know has died? It’s kind of creepy.
So, how would I like these accounts managed after I’m gone? Would I like one final message posted on Facebook before my account is deleted? My husband knows many of my friends but certainly not all of them and a Facebook post could help ease his burden to let people know. If I would like him – or whoever is managing my estate – to post a notice, is that something I’d like to write myself beforehand? How long do I want the message to be visible before shutting down my account?
How about this blog? Some bloggers just suddenly vanish, leaving their followers to wonder what happened. Others have found solace in the blogging community and have continued to write despite their illness. A final message posted by a loved one is one we never want to see, but again, I am grateful to be notified. Like Facebook, the wording of the message and how long to keep the account active needs to be considered.
Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer, but it’s something to think about and discuss with my husband. He doesn’t have a blog and isn’t on Facebook so, if I want him to post a notification, I’d have to clue him in on the process. Alternatively, I could designate a friend who is more familiar with these platforms to be the one to post a notice.
How about you? Have you thought about how you’d like your various social media accounts to be handled when you can no longer manage them? (In addition to the three I mentioned, other platforms might include Twitter, LinkedIn, TikTok, Snapchat, etc.) Documenting clear instructions for each one ensures that they are managed as you wish.
Previous posts in the series:
Organizing Passwords and Other Secret Codes
What would you Grab if you had to Go?
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I admit I haven’t really thought about it, though strangely only today FB reminded me it was the birthday of a friend who died nearly two years ago (not that I needed reminding). Something else to think about! Thank you Janis.
I hadn’t thought about it either until I got the latest notice of a friend’s passing. I really don’t know what I want to do social media-wise and it feels way to early to consider options. Like you said, something else to think about… I turned my b-day notices off a long time ago so at least those won’t keep coming. 🙂
You are being wonderfully organised, Janis. I realise it’s selfish of me but I don’t really want to think about those things. Mick reads and shares my blog and is aware of the other accounts so, if I’m still blogging when I die, it’ll be up to him what he shares. How do I know now what my parting message will be? I might change my mind. Thanks for the suggestions xx
Actually, it’s my lack of organization that prompted me to start this project. 🙂 I don’t know what I’d want to say either in a last post, or even if it matters. A good friend’s father recently passed and he had his obit already written, so some people like to have control over the message. It was probably also easier on his family to not have to think about it.
I really only do this blog. While I have Facebook and insta I don’t use them except as a way to get info about things like museums and theaters. I’ve left word for my daughter to send a blog post. I had two blog friends pass on the past year. One we found because someone googled her. The other I found out about because a IRL friend of the guy follows my blog. It’s a lot
That is really interesting. Even if we haven’t met bloggers that we follow, we often think of them as friends. I think a final post could be a kindness.
Agree. When you converse with someone every day, often for years, their absence is felt
Janis, thanks for your thoughtful messages. I hope these concerns are FAR in the future and that you continue providing thought provoking messages for us for a long time to come.
I have been reading your messages for quite a while and appreciate your insight sights, even though I don’t always follow through as much as I should on this is of this nature. Keep up the great work.
Yes… VERY far in the future! Thank you for following my blog and for your lovely comment. I hope you visit my comment area again now and then. 🙂
Timely message. An old friend died last week. The obit was 4 lines and I missed it but a mutual friend emailed me. At my age it’s getting hard to stay on top of this. Too many deaths! A blogger I have followed for a long time posted about another blogger dying. It was someone I had followed until she stopped blogging a few years back. They had maintained an off line friendship. I only caught it because her name was unusual. One blogger posted through her illness and had her sister publish the final post that she was gone. It brings closure. I hate working on this stuff.
I’m sorry about your friend, Kate.
I don’t like thinking about these things either, but I appreciate it when others do. I guess when we follow bloggers “of a certain age” illnesses and deaths will happen more and more often.
What an excellent prompt for us! Thank you for writing about what we want done about our social media pages.
Before social media, it was so much easier to close the loops when someone passed away. Now, we as survivors don’t even know what loops are out there that need closing.
Agreed. sigh….
Good questions to ask yourself for sure Janis, and plan ahead as needed. I am only on WP and my kids know (if I am still actively blogging) that I would like one of them to write a simple post giving everyone the info that I won’t be blogging anymore.
That sounds like a sensible way of handling things, Deb. Unless I can figure out how to continue blogging in the afterlife, a simple post would be a good way to let people know without going into a lot of details.
This a very thought provoking post. I suppose I would just ask my executor to post a farewell and then close out the blog.
Nowadays, executors need to be not only diligent and well-organized, but also at least semi-tech savvy. So much of our lives are handled online now and need to be managed one way or the other when we no longer can do it ourselves.
Alll good things to ponder.
After my husband died, my son figured out how to secure the account so no one could steal his identity.
Anyone looking for him will encounter his obituary.
I don’t remember what he did to secure the account, I just know it can be done b
Oh wow, that would be a good thing to know how to do. Bad actors are always looking for ways to gain advantage. I guess we not only have to protect our identities while we are alive, we need to protect our information when we are gone.
I love this post, Janis, despite its message of gloom, shall we say. I think about my Facebook and blog accounts all the time and how I would want to say goodbye, or how someone could say goodbye for me. Like you, I’ve seen my share of birthday notices on Facebook of people who have passed. It IS creepy, I’m sorry to say. I have a page in our estate plan that has details about how to write a goodbye post on WordPress or Facebook. I would place my daughters ( and step-daughter) in charge of this because they are savvy enough to write something.
I appreciate you writing about these awkward topics. It’s reality and honestly, I would hope we all want a conclusion to the end of a happy life shared on social media.
I really appreciate your comment, Terri. I do feel a little uncomfortable writing about these things but we will all face them at some point… hopefully a point well into the future. Since I’ve taken on this project, I figured others might be interested too. And, I’ve gotten some great feedback and ideas from commenters.
I love that you have already thought about how you would want your blog ended and have someone(s) to do it for you. You are lucky to have them to rely on.
Wow, this is a valuable post, Janis – at least for someone my age. But if you read Yvette’s poem in July, you know death can sneak up and take you by surprise. So your post pertains to all of us. I have a Google Doc of passwords, and most of my social media accounts open up automatically on my computer now that I’m getting my cookies back. This is such a great series. I can’t wait to get a link posted on Story Chat. 🙂 xxx
Thank you, Marsha! I like the idea of a final post, whether I’ve just decided to stop blogging or continuing was no longer an option. Having a draft of the message would be helpful to anyone managing someone’s estate, especially if they are already dealing with their grief. In my case, I’d probably ask a blogger friend to post something on my page rather than burden my husband with the task.
This is really, really helpful, Janis. Brilliant, really.
Like you, I think a final post would be a kindness…It’s on my list of ‘todos’ to create a post that can be revised periodically and kept in my WP drafts. Middle daughter now knows the ins & outs of basic Admin of my site since we’ve worked together on the USAID series so I now have someone to push ‘publish’ when needed! 😉
Oh, you sound very organized! It’s nice to have someone you can count on to do that for you. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I am intrigued about what my last post might say… it would certainly include a reminder not to use my Contact Me page. 🙂
LOL!
ps-great series, Janis.
Thank you!
I have thought about it but haven’t really done anything about it. I need to organize my husband and mentioned to him that in the fall we (mostly he due to his Alzheimer’s) need to make living wills. He is terrible at anything like this but I told him to give it some thought. I will broach the subject again in September and include social media in our discussions. If it was just me, everything would be done and dusted.
It is not a fun process but very important. I wish you luck getting all the documents finished and organized. The good news is that, once done, you don’t need to think about it anymore (other than needed updates).
You are spot on in suggesting it is a good idea to have a plan so that people are not left wondering what happened when I quit posting things… or maybe there will be an AI app that just alerts everyone of my demise and then carries on posting stuff without me…
I do hope, however, that I have some ‘notice’ that my best before date is on the horizon! I think that would be something I would share on my blog, on Facebook and any other social media!
What a fabulous idea! I know some people use AI to create posts while they are alive so why not after they die? I vacillate between wanting some notice and dying of something quick and painless. Since I won’t have a choice in the matter, I guess I’ll just plan what I can and hope whatever happens, happens well into the future. I’m having too much fun.
It’s curious how, in some comments, they describe your post as ‘gloom’. But let’s be practical, life is a blend of beauty and challenges, not just sunshine. It’s about making life more bearable for our loved ones, especially when they’re trying to navigate life without us.
I think most all of us struggle a bit when we think about our exit. Even though we know it will happen, burying our heads in the sand is a common practice. Framing the process as doing what we can to make it easier for those we love helps. In my first post of the series, I mentioned a relative who was left (even though her ill partner had time to help plan) with a ton of questions and loose ends that she had to deal with on top of her grief.
Yes, I have known of people who continuedly put their heads in the sands and have left their loved ones with major financial burdens. Selfish is what I can them. I’m one of the lucky ones that Les and I can talk about it openly. Even so, it’s never easy and nothing prepares us for saying goodbye.
That’s a good point, Janis. Mark uses my Facebook account all the time (he doesn’t have his own) to research things and offer help about technical stuff. If I were to pass now, he would probably post something about that and then close my account.
He also has access to my blog and website as he’s the one who set it up and deals with technical glitches, so I would assume he’d put a note up with the sad news there too and then, at some point, stop the blog. Or more likely, stop paying all the hosting fees. Unless he would think that I like our sailing and overlanding info and stories to be accessible to all still, as information and inspiration.
So, on my end, I probably don’t have to share any passwords or accounts, just a quick chat about if or when I’d want him to close accounts and delete blogs. I’d probably want him to keep the blog for another ten years and close the Facebook profile after posting his message about my passing. But, honestly, I don’t really care about any of it, except for letting my friends know what happened.
It’s nice that you have Mark to take care of all of it. Even if you never discuss it with him, he’d probably know how best to handle any notifications needed. Since you two know people all over the world, a social media post would be the best way to reach everyone. Not fun to think about (and, you are right, after we are gone we won’t care 🙂 ) but most of us have digital lives as well as analog ones that need to be dealt with one way or the other.
Worth thinking about. I see that several of my friends have passed away but their accounts remain active.
Me too. Whether we post “one last time” or not, I think making sure the accounts are eventually deleted is preferable.
Well, more food for thought from you Janis.
I think I mentioned before that I have no family at all, so I met with an attorney last year to compile all my paperwork, so now he, (and his daughter, the other attorney at the firm), are executors of the trust, as well as my personal representatives and medical designates.
I never thought about social media – now I wonder if I should have made provisions in the case of an unforeseen death/accident, etc., i.e. they might contact a WordPress administrator to post on my site? As for Facebook and Twitter I lurk there mostly, as I follow a lot of nature and news sites I’m interested in, but my privacy settings are set so no one can post on my Facebook “wall” and I never post, only changing my cover/profile shots for the four seasons. I keep up with a few friends, but it’s been decades since I last saw them and we have nothing in common now and our communications are infrequent.
As to blogging, if I were ill enough to stop blogging, I think I would do a post about that if I was able, but an accident/death, no one would know. Would you want your blog to remain there in perpetuity? Since most the bloggers I follow pay for their blogs, unless their loved ones wanted the blog left “up” as their loved one’s labor of love, likely WordPress would shut it down for non-payment. Currently I have two bloggers I follow that were ill and have not posted in some time, but one hinted the end of last year that she was ill and if we didn’t hear from her, it might be because she was gone.
This gives me something to think about – would I want the attorney to pay to keep my blog active when I’m gone, rather than funneling everything first to his office, then to the charity I designated (St. Jude’s) or simply advise WordPress and ask them to post to my readers?
It is a lot more complicated when there aren’t any family members who can take care of more personal things for you. I’m not 100% sure yet, but I think I’d want one last post, then delete the account after a few weeks. Checking and credit card accounts can stay open for a while after death (in order to manage the estate) so if anything is set to auto-pay (like WP annual fees), it would be good to proactively cancel them, I think.
Even though we don’t like to think about these things, I really like how these posts have generated some great information and questions to think about.
Yes Janis, it is rough with no family members and to be honest, none of my friends has ever taken an interest in my blog, except my friend/neighbor who asked me to start a blog, which I did to make her happy and I ended up enjoying blogging (though it took 4 1/2 years to interact with bloggers here on WordPress when I was finally “discovered”). She passed away the same year, 2017.. If possible, one last post would be preferred in my opinion. I am going to dwell on the WordPress topic in the event of my unexpected demise, perhaps even contact WordPress to see if they would be willing to make a short post on my behalf if my attorney advised them I had passed away. They have our logon/password info anyway. No one wants to think of these things and I spent time compiling info, reviewing the prepared documents and had two meetings with the attorney to get this done. I was glad when it was over.
There is a lot to think about and not having an obvious family member to manage things is a whole other layer of complication. Good for you for making the time and effort to get it done. I read somewhere that Facebook had a way for the manager of an estate to handle a death but I don’t know if WordPress has anything like that.
Well, I had thought of doing this trust for a while Janis. My mom and I had wills, power of attorney for business and medical purposes done back in the mid-80s and then our attorney became a district court judge and could no longer have any cases, so he designated a new attorney at a different firm for all his matters. The new attorney didn’t like how our paperwork was structured and told us he would not administer the estate (should we did together in an accident, etc.) AND also be a medical designate, so I had my boss be our medical representative for each of us. He was willing and all was good with that until he was mad I was retiring, he also was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2017 and my boss was nine years older than me, so I decided it was time to get new estate paperwork done. I have not told him he is no longer my medical designate … it’s sad that he didn’t ask about it when I retired last year. I’m going to contact WordPress and see what their policy is and take it from there. I’ll let you know what I learn if you’d like.
Good that you’re thinking of all this. Agree–sad to see on Facebook that someone has died. Those poor husbands. I attended a funeral, and a few months later got the FB notification of the deceased’s birthday. Ugh. I think if I know the end is nigh, I’ll compose something for Hubby to post. If it’s a surprise ending, he’ll have to be witty on his own.
Unrelated follow-up: I’m scrambling for a venue for my launch party. The one I wanted is booked. You had once mentioned having a friend who owns(?) a place with a funny name in, I want to say, Carlsbad? What was the name of that place again? I want to give them a call.
I sent you an email (hopefully that address is still good). 🙂
Haha… “surprise ending”. I don’t know which would be better (or worse) but I hope either type of end is a long ways off for both of us.
Agreed!
I have a password book that my daughter is well aware of, and since she is quite technical I guess I’m assuming she’d post something and lock them down. I still see photos of deceased loved ones on Facebook asking if I want to be friends. It always makes me sad. Good series because it is something we need to address.
I figured that if I am thinking about certain “what ifs” that others would be too (or, at least, they might want to consider them). Seeing that notice of my friend’s passing prompted me to wonder what I would want done. You are lucky to have a tech-savvy daughter. I’m the “IT Expert” in our house, which means that we are in big trouble. :0
I’m the IT person between my husband and I and that is scary too. It is amazing what you can find by googling and youtubing.
You got my attention with the birthday reminder of a friend who has died. 😲That IS creepy. I have always figured my social media accounts will whither away in cyberspace. I have found certain comfort in visiting the FB page of a deceased friend. I don’t know why. Some people visit graves. I visit FB pages. lol. Since I won’t be around, I just don’t care too much about the frivolous SM world. But, like you, I have tried to organized my important paperwork, permissions, and legal/financial docs. And there is an ongoing battle to thin “stuff.” This year I jettisoned the family silverware–dating back to my grandmother. That was a biggy. Now if I could bring myself to tackle the 2 sets of fine China and glassware. 🥴
I agree that, once I am gone, I will cease caring about SM. My thoughts are more about letting people know and making sure they don’t receive birthday notices and friend requests from beyond the grave.
So many of us are in the same boat regarding getting rid of stuff. I’m slowly making progress but it’s difficult. I’m curious how you got rid of your silverware. As far as the China and glassware goes, my understanding is that if it can’t go in the dishwasher, no one wants it. Sad, but true.
I sold the silverware to a silver/gold merchant. They weighed it and gave me a price on the bulk weight. It will get melted down. 🥹 That was hard. But I’m sure that’s where it would end up anyway. And you’re right about the China. The best I can figure out is to give it to mosaic artists or the like. That hurts too.
Thanks for that info about the silverware. That would hurt to have it melted down but that might be the best alternative.
At least now I have that $ to do as I wish with. And I don’t miss the liability of having that asset in my house, ripe for a break in.
Hi Janis, I visited your site this week, hoping I have not missed any posts … and voila … a new, blog post.😊
Your post is coming in at a good time … ‘the student is ready when the teacher appears’ (or something like this). My daughter recently requested specific information from me.
Love it! ‘… no longer in the driver’s seat.’ And yes, re my daughter, their friend passed away recently at a young age (an accident). And yes, ‘grateful to be notified.’
I am bookmarking and rereading… you are an inspiration, Janis, thanks to our mutual friend, Donna, who has a knack for connecting people.
Btw … I am constantly receiving birthday reminders from fb friends who have died … yes, creepy.
Many good questions here, Janis, along with my increasing todo list. Decisions, decisions …💕Erica
Hi Erica! I’m so happy that you are finding these posts useful. Your daughter is smart to ask for information now. Too many people find those requests uncomfortable and wait until it’s too late. I’m so sorry about your daughter’s friend. A sad reminder that bad things can happen at anytime.
Take care, my friend, and thanks for checking in to see if there are new posts. You never know with me. 🙂
You always have kind, approachable, and relatable energy, Janis. Your topics are important and I learn from you and the comments. Keep it coming … whenever you are in the mood and want to share. 💕 Erica
💕💕
This is something to think about.
Some people prefer to ignore these things but I like to plan ahead… hopefully for the long distant future.
Yes, I agree.
Janis, While I have created a Legacy Document, I don’t think it specifically calls out what to do with Social Media. I know I have in it what social media accounts I have, and where to find the passwords. But not a recommendation on “last message”. I too find in disconcerting when I get the FB birthday notification on someone I know has passed. Good thing to think about adding there!
My Legacy Document is based on the Legacy File idea, but shorter version and all digital. It includes critical information someone might need if we (hubby and I) were to pass away – financial information, funeral desires, what documents exist and where to find them. It was the document I sent to my niece when I thought we might not make it through the night in the upgraded to Cat 5 hurricane heading our way last year. We made it through, sans house. But it was one less thing to worry about overnight.
I’ll be thinking on that last message. Because there are people who might only hear via FB or my blog or LinkedIn. Thanks for the idea.
You have a unique perspective on the whole process – not only are you extraordinarily organized but you’ve faced what could have been a life-ending event. Yikes! Another commenter, Mary (below), provided a link to some really useful information regarding closing various SM accounts.
Janis, here’s a link provided by the American Red Cross that might prove helpful (“How to Close Social Media Accounts of Deceased Loved Ones”) : https://www.redcross.org/content/dam/redcross/get-help/vfac/NAAG-How-to-Close-Social-Media-Accounts-of-Deceased-Loved-Ones-2020.pdf?srsltid=AfmBOooIXGFiZIplqv2vDrVvVui6THtX1SfxiN5HBybjAbE5qE0c3teW.
The following article from AARP is more general in nature, but I thought it was so well-written that I printed out a copy and filed it in the Legal Affairs binder I created for our son, who holds POA and is our executor and trustee. This one’s called “What to Do When a Loved One Dies.” It’s a play-by-play list of practical steps that need to be taken – very helpful. https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/when-loved-one-dies-checklist/
None of this is fun to deal with, and working your way through the process of getting your affairs in order is very time consuming, as I’m sure you’ve found out. Still, there’s a wonderful sense of accomplishment as each “project” is completed and you get to check it off your list.
You’ll have this all done by the time we get together, right? Wink, wink.
Oh, wow, thank you so much for this information! The AARP article also links to another article about creating a Digital Estate Plan which I will find helpful for my next post in my Organizing My Life series.
I have been even slower to work through my project than I first thought so, no, I won’t be done before our meet-up. 😊
A few months ago, I saw “happy birthday” wishes to a Facebook friend who had passed away years ago. That felt heartbreaking and really stresses the importance of having some kind of plan in place for the inevitable.
I mostly care about my blog. When I was being wheeled into surgery back in 2011, I gave Tara my password and instructions to create a farewell message under my name. Thankfully, she never had to do that!
Wow, you were on social media way before I had even thought about it. I’m glad that Tara didn’t have to use that info. 😊
My husband and I completed our DNR’s a long time ago. Before I had hip surgery several years ago, the hospital asked to see mine. That REALLY brought it home for me (spoiler alert, I made it through, no problem).
I started blogging in 2001. The internet barely existed!
I don’t check FB every day, so sometimes I miss people’s posts about various things. I’d hate to think I missed someone’s death announcement. I still think it’s a good place to post those kind of announcements, as long as it’s accompanied by the more traditional notification processes (phone trees, newspaper announcements, etc.). As for the blog, I’ve told the Husband I want him to write a post notifying my readers of my death, but I’m going to take this opportunity to remind him. I’ll do it now . . .
. . . done. 🙂
It’s probably not the first thing our spouses would think about on the heels of our demise, so a reminder now and then makes sense. Too many reminders might be suspicious, though. 😊
Haha, indeed!
I think I will likely create a draft blog post with instructions on how to publish it when I’m gone. I’ve deleted all other social media accounts.
Other than my blog, social media has pretty much lost it’s glow for me too. Facebook has mostly become a series of ads but I still visit to get updates from friends and family. I think a short blurb would suffice. Anyone who really knows me would know how to get in touch with my family.
Oh, my, I hadn’t thought much about digital estate planning. I knew I can designate a “legacy contact” with Facebook. You have given me something to think about.
I saw something about that but I’m not sure I’d want to do that. I think I’d rather designate someone who knows my login info post a simple notice, then delete the account after a week or so. I don’t want a memorialized account.
Hi. WordPress is the only form of social media I am involved with. If I’ve continued to write articles for my site up until the time I kick the bucket, then I think I would like someone to post a notice on my site, saying I am no longer among the living. I’ll have to leave good instructions with various people so that they will know how to post that notice.
Enjoy the weekend!
Neil S.
That sounds like a sensible thing to do. No drama, just a farewell. You have a good weekend also! We should have mild temps and sunny skies… perfect!
Janis, this was a great post – and it is creepy getting messages from the deceased. My nephew passed away in 2017 and for about a year there would be references for connecting with him on FB – and I was not even on there very much (never quote my platform – and that was one more annoyance for trying it that time).
Anyhow, I enjoyed this latest installment in your series – and I do have a notebook with my accounts and passwords – I also usually date when I change passwords – it is organized but sometimes a little messy with scribbled out passwords – and I update this notebook every other year. However, I never thought about writing down my intentions and will do that.
I have learned that I am not alone getting those Facebook posts from beyond the grave. I would definitely want my account closed out.
Passwords are such a hassle. I have found that having a Password Manager really helps. And, I have heard that “Passkeys” are a new thing that will hopefully make passwords a thing of the past. Fingers crossed.
💚🍃🙂🍃💚
Wow, I hadn’t considered all of that. I should probably take down my mom’s FB account, but she wasn’t very active on it, so I just let it be. Now, I guess I need to put some thought into managing my accounts in the future. So many issues that surface now that our modern lives are catching up to us. Who’d a thought we would have to address questions like this?
There are so many things we need to think about now that never crossed my mind when my parents passed 15/20 years ago. Not only was social media not as big then, it wasn’t a part of their lives at all. Now, with all sorts of different online accounts that need passwords to shut down, it can get complicated.
Thanks for the thought provoking post. Recently, I found out an old friend from high school had passed away….in 2022! Some of us were shocked, because he was a quiet guy and rarely used his FB account, but people kept up with him through other means. Ironically, it was through FB that many of us learned about it (although late.) I’m not sure I want any of my social media accounts to be a legacy. More thinking required on that. My niece has access to my WP account since there is a lot of family legacy there that I want her to have. Hope you are well. P.S. Mark mentioned your cheese cake recipe just yesterday.
I don’t want a legacy account either. Having some sort of notice up for a few weeks is plenty. I think if you wanted to keep your WP available to family but not public, you can change the designation to private.
Funny that Mark mentioned the recipe… I was just thinking about the two of you a couple of days ago and wondering where you were in your more plans (or, maybe it has already happened).
I have thought about this subject, but so far thinking is all I’ve done 😏. Thanks for the reminder to add this one to my To-Do list, Janis!
Hopefully none of us needs to make any decision soon but it’s good to consider our options, I think. I imagine your daughter could easily take care of your accounts according to your wishes.
Yes! I’ll be tapping on her shoulder. 😁
What to do about social media is a huge issue. I have relatives now deceased who still have “active” Facebook accounts. I’ve heard of people being able to convert active accounts into memorials because friends and family might still want to post and share, but in the case of my relatives, those accounts are likely to continue as long as FB continues. My husband and I have access to each other’s devices (more or less), but I can’t see him bothering to close my accounts, depending on the circumstances. He’s kind of anti-social media 😉 I have thought about winging it and writing a post for my blog and ask him to at least go in and publish it. Then, after a while, see about closing my accounts. More importantly, I just feel I need to reduce the number of social media accounts I have. That would make my life simpler too 🙂
I am sure I could ask my husband to post some sort of notice then close my account after a while but I’ll probably just ask a friend or two to do that since he doesn’t “do” social media either. I agree with you about reducing the number of accounts beforehand. They sort of creep into the mix, get used for a while, then ignored. Best to jettison them now rather then make them someone else’s problem.
One of the reasons I stay on Facebook (besides posting a link to my blog on my Facebook page) is to stay in touch with far away friends and relatives. So I’ve also learned of deaths and illnesses via Facebook, and do appreciate it. On the other hand, I’ve seen active Facebook accounts for people who have been dead for years, and its sad when you also see people posting “happy birthday” or “how are you” comments on those pages, because they obviously have no idea the person is gone. So I think it’s a good idea to plan ahead for how you want your social media to be handled once you’re gone. And I’m going to have to think about that….
I’ve seen those birthday greetings too and I am tempted to let them (if it’s someone I don’t know at all) know of their friend’s passing. How to manage social media accounts after someone dies isn’t a traditional part of an estate plan, but I think it should be. I think having a clear, well-thought-out digital estate plan makes a lot of sense in today’s world.
I can’t deny that this aspect has been more on my mind of late and this seems like a good plan to put into place, so it has been added to my to do list or organisational tasks I’m working through at the moment.
I’ve heard a bit about the experience of those who’ve had to do a digital clean up for family members – apart from the obvious burden of death admin, in some cases it proved to be a truly unenviable task when the deceased hasn’t tidied up their digital footprint and their family members were left reading things no-one would want to read.
Oh, that’s another great point. Not everything people put online is for general consumption. My digital footprint is pretty boring but even so, it’s worth a closer look. Just like “death cleaning” is a term for getting rid of stuff in our homes so our heirs don’t have to deal with it, we need to tidy up our online stuff too.
Great advice, Janis. I only have BlueSky, Flipboard and Mastodon social media accounts, and they are so small that I’m not going to worry about what happens to them after my ‘best by’ date comes along. Email accounts are different, as I was able to switch on a setting that says if I do not log into my email account for 12 months, it will be automatically deleted. Although they send me reminders every three months, reminding me of this.
My partner and niece have my WordPress login details so that they can disable my account should anything happen.
I came off Facebook years ago – never looked back, but I can see how it can be a problem. However, I never give my real birthdate on any social media accounts or my blog, as it can be used for stealing my identity, especially when sharing my full name on those accounts. I know of a few people who have been the victims of identity theft because they shared their birth dates online.
I didn’t know about that option with email… I’ll have to see if it’s available on my two accounts. I think it would be good to leave them open for a while as the estate is being wrapped up, but certainly not forever.
I have thought about dumping Facebook too. It has become just a bunch of ads with very few personal posts from friends… which was my whole reason to sign up in the first place. I don’t list my birthday; I have no interest in receiving a bunch of “greetings.”
Planning for your digital estate is crucial in today’s world. Social media accounts aren’t just personal—they’re part of your online identity and, for some, a source of income.
Steps you can take:
Document all your social media and online tools in one place.
Specify what happens to each account (delete, transfer, or memorialize).
Share instructions securely with someone you trust.
Take advantage of built-in tools (like Facebook’s legacy settings or Google’s Inactive Account Manager).
Thank you for adding to the discussion! I am writing a follow-up post on the importance of documenting our other digital accounts. It’s a far different world than when I had to manage my parent’s estate.