High School Reunions – Retirementally Challenged

Time Keeps on Ticking…

It is hard to believe that so many years had passed since graduating, but when the invitation to my 50^th high school reunion appeared in my inbox, reality set in. I am still friends with a lot of my classmates – many since grade school, even one who I met while still in diapers – so I’ve seen us age through the years. I can’t deny how the march of time has changed us physically, but most of us are still active and engaged. We aren’t all retired but for the most part, those who still work choose to because they are excited about what they do.

I know that some people don’t have fond memories of high school and the last thing they want to do is get together with their former classmates. But, for me, last weekend’s event was an opportunity to catch up. We had a large graduating class, and a good number came to the reunion. It wasn’t possible to talk to everybody I wanted to, but it was nice to see everyone have a good time. There was a lot of gray hair, multiple bald heads, and a few walkers and canes but, despite that, I thought most of us looked pretty good.

I went to grade school with all of these lovely women.

Just like at my husband’s 50^th last year, there was an In Memoriam display with the pictures of over 60 classmates who had died since graduation. Some I was aware of; others came as a shock. When we graduated from high school, most of us looked forward to our futures with excitement. No one on the display could foresee the diseases, accidents, drugs, or inner struggles that took them way too early.

I count myself as one of the lucky ones. My health is decent, I haven’t experienced many significant life setbacks, I have an abundance of friends, and I have a good marriage. I also know that any of those could change in the blink of an eye. As we’ve recently seen from tragic events occurring around the world, we are not always in complete control of our lives.

When I graduated at age 17, I was anxious to go to college and start my passage into adulthood. Now, 50 years later, I look back at my journey with gratitude. Gosh knows I made mistakes, not everything was (or is) perfect, but it’s been pretty darn good. And the great thing is that I’m still a work in progress; I continue to have lots to learn and adventures to experience.

I hope that when the invitation comes for my 60^th reunion in 2033, I will still be skipping down that path.

Check out the What’s Been on My Calendar link-up to see what others have been up to this month.

GratiTuesday: A Gathering of Friends

Last Saturday, I attended a mini-reunion for my high school class. Since it wasn’t one of the big ones (those that end with a “0”), the event was low-key and casual. I almost didn’t go because the high school friends I maintain regular contact with (real contact, not occasional Facebook posts) were either out of town or had other plans for the evening. Since I’m not one of those who can walk into a crowd and instantly feel at ease, I questioned whether I’d enjoy myself. Our graduating class was large – around 600 – so (I told myself) the chances were pretty good that I wouldn’t remember many of the people.

After spending some time trying to talk myself out of going, I decided – with my husband’s encouragement – that I’d at least make an appearance. If after a short amount of time I wasn’t enjoying myself, I could leave. That’s one of the nice things about being an adult that I sometimes forget… I’m the boss of me.

When I entered the venue, my first reaction was that there were a bunch of old people there. Lots of grey hair and a few extra pounds padding quite a few mid-sections. Yikes! where were my classmates? Had I walked into the wrong event? After a moment’s hesitation, I convinced myself to take one lap around the room. If I didn’t see anyone I knew, I would keep on walking out the door and back to my car.

Fortunately, before I made a complete loop, I saw a familiar face… then another … then another. Those old people I saw at first? The years started to melt away and I began to see my high school friends. Sometimes I needed to glance several times at their name tags to be sure, but they were there.

Unlike past reunions, where there were a lot of “what do you do?” questions, followed by “how many kids do you have?” most of the conversations the other night centered around hobbies, travel, and day-to-day interests. Many of us had retired or were close and, for the most part, kids had grown and flown. The people I talked to were in relatively good health, they were active and engaged, and they were focused on enjoying life.

Not a great picture but the only one I have of the evening.

I heard the word grateful spoken many times that evening. Grateful for friendships that have lasted over many years, grateful for our families, grateful for our health, grateful for the experiences we’ve enjoyed since high school, and grateful that we decided to attend this gathering of our friends.

As is often done at reunions, a list of names of classmates no longer with us was read. Each time, the list grows longer, and, in this case, two names had been added very recently. It was a sobering reminder of how precious life is and how important it is to hold our friends and our loved ones close. After the names were read, the mood shifted just a bit. I think many of us found ourselves listening a little closer to our friends’ stories, hugging them a little harder, and, most of all, hoping that we will see everyone again at our next reunion.

Being “Rich” Then, and Being “Rich” Now

This coming weekend, my high school class will be holding our 40^th reunion. Although I missed our 30^th (I was busy getting married that weekend), I have attended the others, including a hastily put together 35^th held at a local bar.

Because this is a big one, it is being held at a yacht club located in the same community in which I grew up. I was never a member of this yacht club – or any other yacht club – but I had friends who were.

I grew up smack dab in the middle of the kids who came from very rich families and those whose families were struggling. Although I remember admiring the beautiful homes and bountiful wardrobes of my better off friends, I don’t remember resenting them for what they had. Nor do I remember them treating me differently because of my lack of societal status. I’m sure I didn’t get invited to certain events, but either I didn’t know about them or I didn’t care.

I also had friends from families facing economic challenges, whether they were from struggling single-parent homes (which were much less common in the 70’s), or who had parents (usually just the father back then) that faced unemployment or underemployment. Just as with my better off friends, as long as we all liked each other and had similar interests, we were pretty agnostic about each other’s social and economic status.

I understand that this was just my experience. I’m sure others experienced hostility, bullying, or the pain of feeling like an outsider. Maybe because I was lucky enough to have good solid family unit that was neither rich nor poor, my memory of my high school years is, for the most part, positive, and my circle of friends fairly economically diverse.

My expectation is that the forty years since graduation will be a great equalizer. Certainly many of my financially well-off friends, whether because of their own hard work or the luck of their birth, will still be well off (and probably members of the yacht club). I think, though, that there will be a lot of surprises. As we get older (and, hopefully wiser), being rich, poor, or somewhere in between, may be less a description of the money we have in our bank accounts, and more a description of our health and happiness. Using this barometer, I hope we are all rich beyond the wildest dreams of our younger selves.