January – Retirementally Challenged

Having an early January birthday has often meant celebrating indoors. When I was young, I envied those summer babies who could mark their special day with a beach bash or pool party. Following so closely after all the winter holiday celebrations, my birthday often felt like an afterthought… one that wasn’t necessarily welcome.

Although my parents made a big effort to make the day special for me, I would have preferred that they had put more thought into when I was conceived… sometime in November, rather than April would have given me the summer birthday I longed for. Sheesh.

Up until four years ago, January 6^th was best known for being the day of Epiphany, or the Twelfth Day of Christmas. I’m not religious, but I liked the idea that my birthday was celebrated in many countries with merry making, feasting, and the consuming of Three Kings Cake. I also liked that the word Epiphany means a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or become conscious of, something. A sudden insight or intuitive understanding. An “aha!” moment.

In the U.S., January 6^th is now also remembered for a darker reason, one that I’d rather not share my birthdate with. It has become not only a date, but a heartbreaking description, something like September 11.

Four years ago, a few days before January 6^th became more than just a date on most people’s calendars, I wrote a silly poem about my birthday. I had meant to post it on my blog, but as that day’s events unfolded, I was too shocked and saddened to do much of anything.

As I get older, I have had a lot of aha! moments and find myself gaining insights that weren’t clear to my younger self. Although there are some things I’ll never understand, this poem was written as a tongue-in-cheek celebration of the good. I hope you enjoy it.

Epiphany
(or, a Birthday Bitty Ditty)

Epiphany
old bitty me
I’ve gained a year today

Regretfully
with vague ennui
I hoped I could delay

Once fancy-free
oh, where is she
my youth of yesterday

But, by degree
fait accompli
my hair is turning gray

Now hear my plea
don't pity me
I'm feeling no dismay

Oh glory be 
can you not see
I’m old but no cliché

Most certainly
I'm still me
just further in decay

No magic key
no guarantee
I'd make it all this way

But here I be
Oh, lucky me
much more than just okay

Epiphany
strikes suddenly
I'm grateful for this day

Even better than a Three Kings Cake, this is
the Caramelized Orange Cheesecake my dear husband makes me every year.

Even though it’s my birth month, I’ve never been a big fan of January. When I was young, I envied those who had summer birthdays and could celebrate with a pool party, beach bash, or an outdoor BBQ. Because my birthday closely follows the holiday season, people are pretty much over it by then, and in no mood to celebrate. After the big run-up to Christmas (that now begins as early as October), January can feel like a bit of a letdown, a sad gray month with little to get excited about.

In the Northern Hemisphere, January is known for low temps and dreary weather, the winter doldrums. Even though it doesn’t snow where we live, January is often our coldest and wettest month. February can be cold and wet too, but at least it has the good sense to last only 28 days, as opposed to January’s 31.

Recently, an article in The New York Times by Steven Kurutz has me rethinking my dislike of January. Reading his homage to the month, I began to realize that it’s actually the lack of much going on that makes it wonderful. There are fewer crowds and even fewer social obligations. There is less traffic on the roads and not as many people in stores and restaurants.

Just last night, as we drove to meet friends for dinner, my husband remarked about how little traffic there was. When we got to the restaurant, we were seated right away in an outdoor courtyard near some space heaters. We were warm and cozy and enjoyed a nice leisurely dinner with our friends, not feeling the least bit rushed so the table could be turned for the next guests.

January has a slower rhythm that allows us to relax, reflect, and rejuvenate. The cold weather is often a great excuse to spend time indoors organizing, decluttering, making soup, or just cuddling up with a good book. It’s a month made for introverts.

I no longer wish I could have a beach party or BBQ on my birthday. As the days slowly lengthen – we gain about a half an hour of daylight over the course of the month – I know there will be plenty of opportunities for outdoor celebrations when the weather warms up. For now, I’m happy to enjoy the sense of calm that January brings, allowing me to breathe again.

My husband’s caramelized orange cheesecake is the only birthday gift I need.

This post is linked to the monthly What’s Been on Your Calendar? linkup hosted by Donna, Deb, Jo, and Sue.

Tag: January

Another Year Older

Rethinking My January Blues