My husband and I don’t go out to dinner very often – our home cooked meals are often tastier and healthier – but we do enjoy going out for lunch. Sometimes it’s the sole reason for getting out at midday, sometimes it’s woven into a day’s errands. We don’t often frequent fancy restaurants, but we appreciate a decent sized table (we like to sit side-by side) and a quiet atmosphere. Being able to carry on a conversation is as important – maybe more so – than the food.
Over the last several years, we have gotten in the habit of splitting meals. Not every time, but often enough that we check with each other first to gauge our hunger level before ordering. This has nothing to do with the cost of the meals, and everything to do with the quantity of food. We just can’t eat as much as we used to.
At first, we didn’t think much about asking to share or split a plate. We only wanted one, so that’s what we ordered. Recently, though, we’ve noticed that our request has elicited a variety of responses. Some servers happily bring two plates separated into two even half portions. Some bring one entrée with an extra empty plate. Some just bring one entrée on one plate for us both to dig into. Other times, we are charged a “split plate fee” of a dollar or two. Restaurants that charge this fee usually split the entrée on two separate plates, but not always.
I often feel compelled to let the server know that we just can’t eat the amount of food we used to – I suppose implying, but not saying, that it isn’t because we are cheap. That completely useless piece of info makes me feel better, but I imagine the server is calculating his or her tip based on a check of half the usual amount. Since my husband and I are generous tippers, hopefully they are pleasantly surprised.
One of the many things we loved about Spain were the tapas (small plates) available in many of the restaurants. We could order and few to start, then order more if we were still hungry. We could taste several different items without overindulging and overstuffing ourselves. A few small plates and a couple of glasses of wine and we were completely satisfied. None of those huge mounds of food that are served in many U.S. restaurants.
I don’t think we are unusual in our shared dining habit. Several of our friends say that they do the same. As we get older, many of us experience a decline in the amount of food we can comfortably eat. Long gone are the days when we could – and did – eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. Even if our weight isn’t a concern, our older tummies just can’t hold what they used to.
How about you… do you share meals at restaurants? If so, have you experienced any push-back – maybe even eye rolls – from the server? If you live where tipping is the norm, do you add extra because you are sharing an entrée?
So, What’s on Your Plate? (#WOYP). Hop over to Donna’s and Deb’s blogs to see what’s on their plates… and to share your own.
Copyright © 2024 RetirementallyChallenged.com – All rights reserved.
Retirementally Challenged 
We are starting to share meals as well, for the very same reasons you mentioned. Our main problem is that we often have different food preferences. I had not really thought about the server responses but have definitely felt them. And I had not thought about tipping more for a shared meal…agh…more tipping fatigue!
I’m surprised how often my husband and I end up wanting the same thing. Or, if we are really hungry, one will choose a salad and the other will choose an entree.
And, yes, another tipping point (pun intended).
There’s a lot I can learn from your post. My husband and I tend to break our diet if we don’t split something or just have an appetizer.
I find that I am usually satisfied with much less than is typically served to me at a restaurant. Then, even though I’m full, I feel pressure to finish so the food isn’t wasted. Better to start out with a more reasonable portion. Thanks for your comment!
While we don’t share a meal, I will often have a salad and then an appetizer as my main course and that is plenty to eat.
I think we often think we are hungrier than we really are. A salad and an appetizer sounds about right.
Sharing meals is a great strategy in retirement, Janis. I can relate to needing to eat less and there are some restaurants that we don’t visit, or choose to eat somewhere else because their meals are too much. I don’t like to waste the food and if we do go there, we eat at lunch and skip dinner that day. Plus go for a long walk afterwards. I do hope the trend towards larger servings starts to diminish. We simply don’t need to eat as much as they are generously offering us. We don’t have tipping here so that might make it easier for us to split a meal. Trouble is my other half isn’t keen to do that. Like your Spanish experiences, various small plates is something we do take up – especially at Thai restaurants this is easiest. That way my hubby can have more and me less if we want.
We also skip meals if we’ve had an especially large meal earlier. I never feel as if I’m denying myself… I just prefer not to feel overly stuffed. I am envious of your no-tip culture. It’s really gotten out of control here in the US.
I haven’t grown up with tipping so it seems strange to me. Knowing how much or how little to tip seems like a can of worms for miscommunication.
The hospitality workers here are paid a lot higher wages which makes tipping unnecessary, although if you feel the service has been exemplary, a customer may tip. I usually round up the bill anyway. And cafes have tip jars at the counter.
That’s a great idea! I have no idea why so many eateries these days insist on large portions which many people just cannot finish.
I agree! I think some foods are cheap to produce (usually overly processed food that isn’t very good for you) so the large servings make diners feel that they are getting their monies worth.
We split meals about 75% of the time that we go out but we’re more likely to go out for dinner than lunch since I still teach classes three days a week. Generally, we will go out with another couple and usually the other couple find it odd that we want to split a meal. My husband could easily eat a whole meal and I could eat a quarter of the meal so we split in half and I give him more. When we were on vacation in February it was an expensive resort so we split meals also because of the cost. I’m not ashamed to say that. However, when we came home, we found out both of us had lost about 5 pounds!
It is so easy to overeat, especially while traveling but I also was shocked that after our 9-week trip to Europe last spring, we both lost weight. We felt that we had eaten everything we wanted to, but we also didn’t feel that we had to come away stuffed each time.
We also got a few interesting looks when we first shared meals, but I think it is becoming more and more normal.