Retirementally Challenged

Looking Back on 2024

Another trip around the sun and here we are on the last day of 2024. Even though I haven’t made New Years resolutions in years and even coming up with a Word of the Year seems like too much pressure, it’s always fun to think about the possibilities in the year ahead.

But, before I turn to the first page of my brand new paper (yes, paper) calendar for 2025, I thought I’d spend a moment looking back on the year that will soon be over.

Travel

2024 was the year of Road Trips for us. An airplane gets you from Point A to Point B faster, but you miss so many interesting sights and memorable moments when you are in the air.

In the spring, we spent about five weeks traveling from the west coast of California to the east coast of North Carolina and back, visiting friends and family along the way.

We headed in a different direction at the end of July, driving north through California, Oregon, and Washington before crossing the border into Canada. Just like on our spring trip, this 6-week adventure included many interesting stops along the way as well as meetups with friends and family.

In October, we took a much shorter road trip up to Los Angeles to see family and explore the area. Our hotel was located downtown where there is a fascinating mixture of old and new, historical and modern, and decay and renewal.

Blogger Meetups

The year began with a lunch date with Terri (the first blogger I ever met in person, back in 2016) and a new-to-me blogger, Cheryl.

At the beginning of our spring road trip, we spent a couple of days in Tucson, Arizona, visiting Kathy and Thom. We saw them again in June, when they hosted us at their mountain cabin, and then again on our summer road trip to Canada.

And, speaking of our trip to Canada, it was Bloggerpalooza on Vancouver Island, where Donna, Deb, and Judith (who no longer blogs) demonstrated why Canadians get their reputation for being so welcoming and nice. We had a wonderful time hiking, chatting, attending concerts, chatting, exploring, hanging out, and chatting.

Ups

There were lots of ups in 2024, including having a backyard view of a few satellite launches, which provided quite a show as they streamed across the sky.

… and Downs

Three friends – a previous work colleague, a neighbor, and a friend that I had lost touch with – passed away in 2024. All were close to me in age. A sad reminder of the frailty of life.

Looking Ahead

We have a few travel possibilities for 2025. One is booked, the other two are in the preliminary planning stages. Our 2025 calendar already has several events, gatherings, and celebrations noted and I look forward to what the year will bring.

Thank you for following my blog, reading, and commenting. I wish all of you a happy and healthy 2025 full of grand adventures.

You can see more end-of-year wrap-ups by visiting Terri’s blog, Second Wind Leisure Perspective. It’s not too late to add your own!

A Book Lover’s Wonderland

Several weeks ago, my husband and I spent a few days in Los Angeles. The main reason for our visit was to see family but we also wanted to explore the downtown area.

When I research an unfamiliar destination for things we might want to do, I often turn to the website Atlas Obscura. Unlike other tourism resources, Atlas Obscura highlights lesser known, but fascinating places of interests. They call themselves “The Definitive Guide to the World’s Hidden Wonders,” and I have found their recommendations invaluable.

That’s where I learned about The Last Bookstore.

Housed in a hundred-year-old bank building, The Last Bookstore is known for its huge selection of used books and a well-curated collection of first editions, rare, and vintage books (complete with the deep, musty smell that bibliophiles cherish). Customers can also browse through new fiction and non-fiction books, as well as an extensive selection of vinyl records.

Almost as impressive as the books themselves, are the way they are displayed and the visual delights sprinkled throughout the two-story building.

The marble pillars of the former bank’s atrium support a beautifully carved and painted ceiling.

A bank vault serves as one of several themed book nooks.

The stairs leading up to the second floor.

Harry Potter meets Fantasia.

The door into a genre-themed room; this one focuses on True Crime.

The Book Tunnel.

One of several Book Loops found among the shelves.

In a time when so many independent bookstores have disappeared – and even the huge chains that spelled doom for the indies are closing – The Last Bookstore has managed to hold its own. Even at an impressive 22,000 sq. feet, it’s not as large as Amazon, but it has a lot more heart.

If you love books, check out the What’s on Your Bookshelf? linkup, hosted by Donna, Debbie, Jo, and Sue.

And, if you love doors (and tunnels and mysterious loops), visit Dan’s Thursday Doors challenge to see more.

Organizing Passwords and Other Secret Codes

This is the second post of my ongoing Organizing My Life project

Do you have any idea how many passwords you have? I didn’t, and when I counted them, I was shocked. Some of them are rarely used, but many are important gateways into my medical portal, insurance policies, and financial information, as well as into services, retail websites, and other business accounts I access regularly.

I had what I thought was a fairly clever system for recalling each password. For each of my 100+ passwords, I wrote a memory prompt in my password book that meant something to me but would be indecipherable to anyone else. Unfortunately, that “anyone else” included my husband. If something were to happen to me, he wouldn’t know what accounts are out there, how to access them, and what to do with them.

After some research, I decided that the best solution was to sign up for a password manager (PM) service. There are several good ones available, ranging in price from free to a few dollars a month. After narrowing my top choices down to three, I selected the one that had the combination of services and support that was right for us. Our “family Plan” allows my husband and me to set up our individual accounts and also share access to any accounts – such as joint banking accounts – we both use.

There was a bit of a learning curve to set the PM service up, but after watching a few YouTube tutorials (Ask Leo has some great how-to tech videos), I found the process to be fairly simple. Once complete, all you need to do is remember one long “master password” and the service does the rest. This was especially handy on our recent road trip when I had to access a few of our accounts. My one master password was all I needed.

Of course, passwords are just part of the puzzle. For instance, you also might have PIN codes for ATMs, home security systems, garage and front door locks, combinations for safes and lockers, safe words or phrases for alarm companies, authenticator apps, and answers to secret questions. And, don’t forget your phone’s unlock code, your computer’s access code, and your Wi-Fi password. If something happens to you, the person managing your affairs will need many of these codes to move forward.

A robust PM provides an encrypted vault to store not only passwords and secret codes but also digital copies of your driver’s license, birth certificate, passport, social security card, marriage license, etc. If these documents were destroyed in a fire or natural disaster, by storing copies in your PM you’d be able to access them online. Even if you opt not to store these items in a PM, you might want to share them with a trusted family member or friend.

After I get all my passwords and other information into my PM, my next project is to organize my contact information. Spoiler alert: Like organizing my passwords and codes, listing my important contacts won’t be as simple as typing a column of names and phone numbers.

If you’d like to follow my ongoing project to organize my important information, please start with the link below. I will post updates now and then as I complete each task.

Organizing My Life

Reuniting With Blogging Friends

I’ve been very lucky to have had the opportunity to meet multiple fellow bloggers – 14 at last count – over the years. Each get together has been enjoyable and uplifting and has reinforced my theory that we are pretty much what you see on our blogs.

A few of these bloggers have turned into dear friends who we’ve traveled to visit several times since our first meeting. They have also made it a point to visit us whenever they get close to our hometown.

Recently, my husband and I made our third trip to beautiful Vancouver Island, Canada, to reunite with several of these dear friends… and one very adorable bloggy doggy.

Our first visit to the Island in 2019:

In 2021, we crossed the U.S. / Canadian border on the day the Covid restrictions were lifted so we could meet again:

2021 meetup with bloggers and our all-male fan club.

This summer, my husband and I spent a leisurely week and a half driving north through California, Oregon, and Washington before taking a ferry to Vancouver Island. Along the way, we reunited with family, friends (including a couple we first met during our travels to Spain last year), and saw some beautiful scenery.

While on Vancouver Island we enjoyed fun times and fabulous weather but, most of all, we were embraced in the warm welcome of dear friends.

Enjoying lunch with Kathy (Smart Living 365), Donna (Retirement Reflections), and Deb (The Widow Badass)… I don’t believe the subject of blogging even came up.

Donna, Deb, bloggy doggy Bowser, and me.

Please check out Terri’s Sunday Stills post and follow the links to see how others have interpreted her theme for this week: Reunited.

Although we neglected to get a picture of our first meetup, Terri was the first blogger I met in person back in 2015. We’ve made it a point to *reunite* whenever we find ourselves nearby.

Organizing My Life

If you are like many of us who have reached a certain age, your focus is on acquiring less and purging more. Paring down, organizing, and decluttering has become the mantra of many retirees who are interested in de-stuffifying their homes. As you are off-loading what you don’t want, have you also considered organizing what is left so that someone can easily manage your affairs if/when you can’t?

My husband and I have had several wake-up calls recently that have prompted us to take action. Over the past year, several friends and family members have experienced major illnesses and other physical or mental declines. One recent death in particular, where the surviving partner was left with a mess of papers and little documentation, made us realize the importance of organizing our information now for when we are no longer around.

Before so much of our lives were online, gathering the necessary documents and financial data was a fairly simple task. Now, not only are many of these documents digitized somewhere in some cloud, but there are multiple passwords, PINs, secret codes, social media accounts, online subscriptions, etc. that need to be considered. Think about the family member or friend taking over for you; without a roadmap, they probably wouldn’t know where to start.

There are various tools available to help organize your information. I’ll cover a few of them in a future post.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading and online research to help create that roadmap. Since we established our Trust years ago (note to self: it’s time to get it updated), my main focus will be on organizing information not contained in that document. A project like this can be time-consuming and feel overwhelming so I’ve broken it down into doable chunks to be tackled over several months. Since others may have a similar project, I will share my progress from time-to-time as I work through my list:

Organize passwords and codes
Create an estate blueprint
Document Home Operating Systems
Make a list of important contacts
Update Trust and write Letter of Last Instructions
Document any debt, credit, and insurance
Create my Personal Medical Journal
Create a Digital Estate Plan
Document personal possessions to distribute
Write an Ethical Will
Plan for what happens next

I get that most people feel uncomfortable thinking about their mortality. I’m healthy and active now so I’d rather not think about it either. But, after seeing a loved one struggle with legal and logistical issues while dealing with her profound grief, I don’t want to put anyone through that experience. I expect, like decluttering my home, I will feel much better when I’m done. I also imagine that the person managing my estate will appreciate that I organized my life and left them a roadmap.

UFO* in the Night Sky #WordlessWednesday

For a moment, SpaceX’s Falcon 9 satellite out of Vandenberg SFB, CA, looked like it was headed for the Moon.

From Silly to Solemn

When we were planning our recent coast-to-coast road trip, we had some “must-sees” along the way and a few hard arrival dates that we needed to hit. Mostly, though, we drove for as long as we felt like it and stopped where it looked interesting. In reviewing the sketched-out itinerary that I put together before we left, it’s apparent that a lot of our “plans” were just “suggestions.”

Roswell, New Mexico

Our first of many unplanned stops was in Roswell, New Mexico. I didn’t know much about this city but, like probably many of you, I associated it with UFOs and aliens. With all the crazy conspiracy theories floating around today, the one surrounding an alleged UFO crash in 1947 and a subsequent military cover-up seems rather quant. (The googles has more information about the incident – that did or did not happen – if you care to go down that wormhole.)

Anyway, like any self-respecting business community, Roswell has fully embraced its unique distinction. While the extraterrestrial spacecraft and captured aliens may – or may not – have been just a figment of a wild imagination, little green men can be found everywhere on the streets of downtown Roswell.

This guy may have had a bit too many cosmo-politans.

Oklahoma City

A much darker reminder of the danger of unhinged conspiracy theories and disturbed thinking was found at our next stop.

The Oklahoma City National Memorial & Museum honors the victims, survivors, rescuers, and all who were affected by the domestic terrorist bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. On April 19, 1995, 168 people, including 19 children, lost their lives because of hate. The Memorial symbolizes the turning away from hate and towards finding strength and hope in a wake of unspeakable violence.

I had no idea how impactful the Memorial would be. Just the day before we arrived, there was a ceremony commemorating the 29^th anniversary of that terrible day. On the day we visited, the grounds were mostly deserted and peaceful, a place of quiet reflection.

At each end of the reflecting pond stands a large bronze-clad monument, the Gates of Time that, together, frame the moment of destruction. One, the 9:01 Gate, represents the moment before the attack. The other, the 9:03 Gate, symbolizes the moment healing began. Off to one side is the Field of Empty Chairs. Each of the 168 chairs is engraved with a victim’s name, underlining the magnitude of the loss.

Looking towards the 9:01 Gate. Note the Field of Chairs to the right.

All of the chairs had been decorated the day before for the ceremony. The chairs of the 19 children killed were especially heartbreaking.

We first visited the Memorial in the daylight. On the advice of a security guard, we returned that evening to see the displays beautifully illuminated.

I’ll end this post with the words engraved on each Gate. They are a reminder that violence arising from hate never solved anything. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we want to take going forward:

We come here to remember

Those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever.

May all who leave here know the impact of violence.

May this memorial offer comfort, strength, peace, hope and serenity.

6,116 miles, 34 days, and 14 states

I was able to add one more state (West Virginia) to those I have visited over the years. Three to go (North Dakota, Minnesota, and Rhode Island).

My husband and I just returned from a lengthy road trip – both in time spent away and miles driven. We left our coastal Southern California home mid-April and touched our toes in the Atlantic Ocean a couple of weeks later before heading back home. We saw so much beautiful scenery as we traveled across the country and observed some darker sights too. Traveling by car may have taken us a lot longer than flying, but we would have missed so much.

From sea (La Jolla, CA) to shining sea (Wilmington, NC)

The main motivation for our trip was to visit family and friends, and because they live here and there, we were able to include a lot of interesting stops along the way. I added two new stamps to my National Park Passport book and visited my second Presidential Library. I took hundreds (and hundreds) of pictures, experienced a variety of weather events, and ate enough road food and BBQ to last me for a while.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee and North Carolina

William J. Clinton Presidential Library, Little Rock, Arkansas

I didn’t intend to take such a long blogging break and I appreciate the notes of concern I received from several bloggers who noticed my absence. I had planned to write a few posts while we were gone but the WordPress gremlins had other ideas. Additionally, although I was able to read the blogs I follow, commenting was apparently not in the cards either. Oh well… best laid plans and all that. Now that I’m back and my luggage is unpacked, I will share some highlights, observations, and a few photos from our trip over the next few weeks.

Splitting Meals

My husband and I don’t go out to dinner very often – our home cooked meals are often tastier and healthier – but we do enjoy going out for lunch. Sometimes it’s the sole reason for getting out at midday, sometimes it’s woven into a day’s errands. We don’t often frequent fancy restaurants, but we appreciate a decent sized table (we like to sit side-by side) and a quiet atmosphere. Being able to carry on a conversation is as important – maybe more so – than the food.

Over the last several years, we have gotten in the habit of splitting meals. Not every time, but often enough that we check with each other first to gauge our hunger level before ordering. This has nothing to do with the cost of the meals, and everything to do with the quantity of food. We just can’t eat as much as we used to.

At first, we didn’t think much about asking to share or split a plate. We only wanted one, so that’s what we ordered. Recently, though, we’ve noticed that our request has elicited a variety of responses. Some servers happily bring two plates separated into two even half portions. Some bring one entrée with an extra empty plate. Some just bring one entrée on one plate for us both to dig into. Other times, we are charged a “split plate fee” of a dollar or two. Restaurants that charge this fee usually split the entrée on two separate plates, but not always.

I often feel compelled to let the server know that we just can’t eat the amount of food we used to – I suppose implying, but not saying, that it isn’t because we are cheap. That completely useless piece of info makes me feel better, but I imagine the server is calculating his or her tip based on a check of half the usual amount. Since my husband and I are generous tippers, hopefully they are pleasantly surprised.

One of the many things we loved about Spain were the tapas (small plates) available in many of the restaurants. We could order and few to start, then order more if we were still hungry. We could taste several different items without overindulging and overstuffing ourselves. A few small plates and a couple of glasses of wine and we were completely satisfied. None of those huge mounds of food that are served in many U.S. restaurants.

I don’t think we are unusual in our shared dining habit. Several of our friends say that they do the same. As we get older, many of us experience a decline in the amount of food we can comfortably eat. Long gone are the days when we could – and did – eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. Even if our weight isn’t a concern, our older tummies just can’t hold what they used to.

How about you… do you share meals at restaurants? If so, have you experienced any push-back – maybe even eye rolls – from the server? If you live where tipping is the norm, do you add extra because you are sharing an entrée?

So, What’s on Your Plate? (#WOYP). Hop over to Donna’s and Deb’s blogs to see what’s on their plates… and to share your own.

Rethinking My January Blues

Even though it’s my birth month, I’ve never been a big fan of January. When I was young, I envied those who had summer birthdays and could celebrate with a pool party, beach bash, or an outdoor BBQ. Because my birthday closely follows the holiday season, people are pretty much over it by then, and in no mood to celebrate. After the big run-up to Christmas (that now begins as early as October), January can feel like a bit of a letdown, a sad gray month with little to get excited about.

In the Northern Hemisphere, January is known for low temps and dreary weather, the winter doldrums. Even though it doesn’t snow where we live, January is often our coldest and wettest month. February can be cold and wet too, but at least it has the good sense to last only 28 days, as opposed to January’s 31.

Recently, an article in The New York Times by Steven Kurutz has me rethinking my dislike of January. Reading his homage to the month, I began to realize that it’s actually the lack of much going on that makes it wonderful. There are fewer crowds and even fewer social obligations. There is less traffic on the roads and not as many people in stores and restaurants.

Just last night, as we drove to meet friends for dinner, my husband remarked about how little traffic there was. When we got to the restaurant, we were seated right away in an outdoor courtyard near some space heaters. We were warm and cozy and enjoyed a nice leisurely dinner with our friends, not feeling the least bit rushed so the table could be turned for the next guests.

January has a slower rhythm that allows us to relax, reflect, and rejuvenate. The cold weather is often a great excuse to spend time indoors organizing, decluttering, making soup, or just cuddling up with a good book. It’s a month made for introverts.

I no longer wish I could have a beach party or BBQ on my birthday. As the days slowly lengthen – we gain about a half an hour of daylight over the course of the month – I know there will be plenty of opportunities for outdoor celebrations when the weather warms up. For now, I’m happy to enjoy the sense of calm that January brings, allowing me to breathe again.

My husband’s caramelized orange cheesecake is the only birthday gift I need.

This post is linked to the monthly What’s Been on Your Calendar? linkup hosted by Donna, Deb, Jo, and Sue.