GratiTuesday: My Husband

On each of the four Tuesdays in December, I am highlighting what I have been most grateful for in 2017.

When we got married almost 15 years ago – my first, his second – we had already been together for 13 years. There were many reasons why we waited but when we made the decision to make things legal, I knew that marrying my best friend was what I wanted to do.

Now I’m learning that not only does marriage provide a lot of emotional and practical benefits, but a happy marriage can help ensure a more enjoyable retirement and a longer, healthier life. Although we are still adjusting to being together 24/7 since retiring – and are still working out “we time” vs. “me time” – I am happy to say that my husband is still my best friend.

Marching for women – and equality – together
Cruising in Alaska
Sliding in Spokane

My husband is smart, funny, talented, a great dancer, and he’s a really nice guy. He also gets things done. I have always been a procrastinator, but that trait has gotten stronger since I’ve retired and face fewer hard deadlines. Because of him, to-dos get done and projects get accomplished. I may whine a bit lot, but I always feel better when we are finished and can check things off our list.

Around this time of year, I like to look at our 12-month desk calendar (yes, we still use a paper calendar) and remember all the things we did together throughout the year. Not only did we go on some fun adventures, other entries bring back fond memories too: The Woman’s March in January, interesting classes we took together, get-togethers we hosted or attended… even business appointments. It is usually more fun when we do things together.

I now have a new desk calendar waiting to be filled in with all the travel, activities, and appointments that 2018 has in store for us. I love that it is empty of notations, yet so full of possibilities. I’m sure, just like every year, there will be ups and downs, achievements and disappointments. But, wherever life takes us in the new year, I am so grateful to know that we will be on the journey together.

Author: Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com

My blog is about travel, relationships, photography, and whatever else pops into my head (even, sometimes, issues surrounding retirement and aging).

82 thoughts on “GratiTuesday: My Husband”

  3. What a lovely tribute to your husband. This is the second marriage for both my husband and me, it has lasted 31 years so far. He is everything I could have possibly hoped for in a partner. Like you, I enjoy looking back on the calendar to see all the places we’ve been, mountains we’ve hiked, and all the fun things we’ve done both together and apart. Cheers to you and wishing you an awesome 2018!

  4. Just gorgeous, Janis – your heartfelt writing, the photos, your husband 🙂
    As I read of your open calendar for 2018, I can’t help but think “Oh, the places you’ll go!” What a wonderful, magical life.

    1. I love having a blank calendar just waiting to be filled in. I started keeping a desk calendar after we retired and were having trouble keeping our schedule straight. Now I wish I had started keeping one much earlier so I could have a record of our adventures pre-retirement. Best wishes to you for a magical 2018!

      1. Sadly, I usually think about me and the inconvenience it has been because I’m still working even though it is from home. I’ve been trying to look at it from his view more and that helps a lot!

  9. How wonderful that you share such joy in doing things together. It seems many times people grow apart as they age so to find time to enjoy shared adventures is so heart warming! All the best in 2018!

  10. He sounds like a “keeper,” Janis! And it sounds like together, you are an adventuresome couple with complementary strengths and interests. I married my best friend, too, and like you we waited rather a long time before making it legal (25 years…neither of us is prone to quick decisions). May your 2018 calendar be filled with bold new adventures, quiet joys, and abundant health.

    1. Wow, 25 years! You definitely have us beat. I’m glad to know that you married your best friend too. Life is too short to be with people who don’t bring you joy. Thank you for your good wishes – may you have the same in 2018 and beyond.

  12. Beautiful tribute to your husband, Janis. May your calendar of 2018 be filled with happy and loving times together. I plan to do same with mine.

  15. I love your December Gratitude posts, Janis. Please add me to that desk calendar for next October or November!

  16. Janis, my husband and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage in May. We have been retired for 12 of those years. The “we time” and “me time” was an issue in the beginning, but we both made an effort to define boundaries. He is and will always be my best friend and the person I depend upon most in this world. I am happy that you have a similar relationship with your husband and that you enjoy retirement together. He sounds like a nice person. Wishing you a full and exciting calendar in 2018.

    1. 30 years is something to be proud of! It is so comforting to know that someone has your back and you have theirs, especially as we get older and may need extra support. Right now, our health is good and we are enjoying the heck out of retirement. Best to you in 2018 too!

  19. He looks like a fun best friend! Isn’t that slide in Riverfront Park in Spokane? I love the idea that you look back over your desk calendar. I think I may be missing out. I try to keep a travel journal when we go – sometimes it works, sometimes not. Hubs and I will celebrate 37 years in 2018! Retiring with your best friend is the only way to go! ~ Lynn

    1. Yes! We loved that slide! First I had to make all the kids get off it so we could use it (kidding). We use the desk calendar mostly so we can remember appointments and events, but we’ve also found that it’s a great way to remember past events too, especially the dates we were gone on trips. Congrats on your 37 years!

  20. Lovely to remember how lucky and fortunate we are isn’t it Janis. I tell Les on a regular basis how happy I am to have him as my best friend 🙂

  21. Cheers to all us husbands out here, haha! All kidding aside, I hope you guys fill many many more calendars to come with fun and exiting adventures together.

  22. Love getting your Tuesday posts (well, all of them, actually!)…and here’s to our hubbys (I agree with Joe above! HA!)
    Enjoy filling those 2018 calendar-boxes with new events/memories and hopeful ‘to-dos’.
    🙂

  23. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a BFF for a husband. Mine certainly is, and yours sounds great. What a lovely post– sweet and inspiring.

  27. I, too, am incredibly grateful to have my wonderful husband as my life partner. We have been together 10 years (married for 6), second time for both of us. He has added so much joy to my life, and what adventures we have had! He claims he has never been as busy as since he met me.

    Jude

  28. My husband Patrick and I celebrated 26 years of marriage this year – second time around for both of us. My nickname for him is St. Patrick and we enjoy time together, too, from the sublime to the mundane. There are some good men out there and we found two of them!

  29. Merry Christmas, Janis! I grinned ear-to-ear at the picture of the big red wagon slide. Your guy has a very playful side, too. Best wishes for the new year!

  30. This is a beautiful tribute to a life partner. The older I become the more I appreciate all the little ways my husband honors me, and I hope I do the same for him. Merry Christmas to you both!

  31. Beautiful post, reflection and possibilities, Janis. Being able to do so much and make so many memories together with our husbands is precious. I love an empty slate as well – the unknown and undiscovered days of 2018 are luring. It won’t start off in the best way for us, but it should only get better as the year progresses. 🙂

  32. No marriage is perfect, but a happy marriage is a true gift. I’m glad you found the right husband and are married to your best friend! Every day I am grateful that I can say the same…

  35. Your husband sounds like a great guy. You’re lucky to have found each other and kudos to both of you for putting in the work to make your marriage a success. My husband and I are coming up on 19 years of marriage. It’s the second one for both of us, and we’re glad we took a second chance on marriage. We also each learned from our first attempts and put those lessons into making this marriage happier and stronger. We also have a write-on calendar, though ours hangs on the wall. I can’t imagine functioning without it (even with our electronics). And like you, looking at the blank calendar, full of possibilities–a clean slate–fills me with anticipation and hope for the new year. I hope yours is filled with adventure, happiness, and love.

    XO

  36. Hi Janis! I’m exactly the same with the calendar thing. I too have a desktop calendar and at this time of year I always go through and add to my coming (2018) calendar by reviewing my old one. Like you say it is fun to review the things we’ve done and different things I want to carry forward to the future. And yes! Like you, we’ve already started filling in places and things we want to do in the coming year. And YES!!! to doing them with our best friends! Happy holidays and we hope to see you both soon. ~Kathy

    1. Hi Kathy! I’m not sure why you ended up in my spam but you clearly are not that! I love my paper calendars… I couldn’t imagine itching them for a digital version. We are looking forward to hooking up soo also!

  37. Janis, late to reading this. But again, loving your month of gratitude. I also have married my BFF. I read something recently that said… I wake up everyday and choose to love him. Yup, I do. Some days he might drive me crazy and I could wish all I want that he wasn’t a hoarder (especially at this stage of our journey)…but he loves me, supports me, and yeah, we have lots of fun together, even on the mundane parts of life! It was a lovely post for your husband.

    1. Love is often a choice like that… the good with the bad, the ups and downs. But, bottom line, they make your life better and you make theirs better too (even the mundane parts). I’m glad you have that with your husband too.

  38. What a sweet post and beautiful tribute. It IS interesting spending 24/7 with your partner, best friend, husband. At the end of the day, being best friends and having the same world outlook/ values is the glue that sticks is together.
    Peta

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