Gratitude – Page 9 – Retirementally Challenged

GratiThursday: What I don’t need

I postponed my weekly GratiTuesday post until today when we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. So, just for today, this is a GratiThursday post.

cicero

As I took apart our newspaper this morning, I was struck by how many Black Friday ads it contained. Dollars off this, a huge percentage off that. Best of all, you can take advantage of these tremendous offers TODAY! Get to the stores early… fire up your computer… shop!

As I dumped all of the advertising flyers into our recycling bin, I thought about how grateful I am that I don’t need any of what was being advertised. I didn’t even really want any of it either.

At this stage of my life, I choose quality over quantity and I do more with less. Just like an artist knows the worth of incorporating negative space in their paintings or photographs, I don’t need to fill up all of the open spaces of my world. I have fallen in love with my life just the way it is.

I am so very grateful for the abundance in my life.

GratiTuesday: What my mother didn’t live to see

Eight years ago, when we elected our first African American president, my jubilation was tempered a bit with sadness because my mother didn’t live to see it happen. She would have been in awe of the historic event and immensely proud of her country.

From as early as I can remember, my mother was politically involved. She was passionate about women’s rights, racial equality, and the environment. Before I was old enough to enter kindergarten, she took me along with her to League of Women Voters meetings. Later, we marched together in anti-war demonstrations. Our family often discussed current events and world affairs at the dinner table.

But, as much as she loved the politics of courage and optimism, she loathed the politics of fear and division. She was a proud member of the Democratic Party, but she had plenty of Republican friends and always enjoyed a healthy, respectful debate.

Respectful, being the key word.

She wouldn’t put up with vulgarity, hateful rhetoric, or hurtful comments. Someone who disparaged others for their religion, sexual orientation, or their ethnicity would never have been tolerated. Negative remarks about a person’s looks or abilities would have been rebuffed. She definitely wouldn’t have put up with anyone making fun of someone’s disability.

And, she would never have invited a bully or a bigot into her home.

Although I miss my mother terribly, in many ways I am grateful that she didn’t live to see who we’ve invited to stay in our nation’s house.

Just like my friend Kate ended her post today about the election…

“Comments are closed. It’s time to heal” (and I think I may have a long way to go).

GratiTuesday: T.G.I.F.

Thank God it’s Finished!

This long slog of an election cycle has been going on since November 2014, when Jim Webb, former US Senator from Virginia, was the first candidate to form an exploratory committee for a possible run for president. On March 5, 2015, Mark Everson, a former Commissioner of Internal Revenue, formally announced his candidacy for the presidential nomination of the Republican Party (remember him?).

I have no idea why the presidential election cycle in the United States is so long and drawn out, but other, seemingly more reasonable countries, appear to have a much better handle on things. For instance, on Aug. 2, 2015, Canada dissolved its Parliament, clearing the way for new elections in October OF THE SAME YEAR. The campaign — all 78 days of it — was an unusually long one for the country.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling completely beaten up and played out. The presidential race was unusually rancorous and mean – even for the US, and we’ve had some pretty nasty campaigns in our history. Even before the two major party’s candidates were chosen, verbal venom, bullying remarks, and vailed innuendos were traded among candidates from the same party.

Worse – because political candidates are, sadly, expected to act like 6-year-olds – was the ugliness among partisans and found on social media. Insults were thrown around without regard for their targets, friends were attacked and unfriended, and falsehoods were passed off as truths.

Tonight, one of the candidates will prevail. I did not use the word “win” because I don’t believe there will be a true winner this year. The person who gets the most Electoral College votes can start making plans to occupy the White House. The person who doesn’t get the required votes will need to decide what his or her next steps will be.

I very much hope that my candidate will succeed and I will be very apprehensive if the other candidate prevails. But, either way, I am concerned most for our country. The wounds that we’ve suffered won’t heal easily and the ugliness that we’ve witnessed won’t soon be forgotten. I’m afraid that they will continue long into the future and, if they do, they could threaten to split us at our core.

I am grateful that this election is over, but – either way the vote goes – I am worried about the results.

GratiTuesday: Memories of family vacations

As I was growing up, family vacations usually involved long road trips in our Ford (always a Ford) station wagon, pitching tents, and sitting around camp fires. Even if Disney Cruises existed back in the 50s and 60s, I doubt if our sole-breadwinner father supporting a family of five, could have afforded such an extravagance. So, just about every summer, we went camping.

Looking back, I can’t imagine having any richer memories then the ones I have exploring the wonders of our national parks with my family. Over the years, the parks we visited included Yosemite, Sequoia, Kings Canyon, Crater Lake, Grand Canyon, Bryce, and Zion. We hiked, fished, rode horses, traded stories around camp fires, and learned about the importance of preserving our natural heritage.

On a recent trip to Northern California to visit family, my husband and I decided to take a “slight” detour through Yosemite National Park. It had been over 30 years since my last visit, and my husband had never been there before. Although we only had about a half a day, it was enough time to take in a few of the “must-see” sights and perhaps plan for a longer stay sometime in the future.

As we drove to Glacier Point – which offers commanding views of Yosemite Valley, Half Dome, and the High Sierra – something about the wall along the road looked very familiar. Deep within my memory was an image of a picture my father had taken many years ago of me looking out over the valley. In hopes of recreating the shot, I positioned myself in what I thought was a similar pose and had my husband take my picture.

Although it turned out that we weren’t in quite the same spot as before (Half Dome was much further in the distance in the old photo), I am pretty pleased with the result.

A little later in the day, while hiking around the valley floor, I took a picture of Half Dome from across a meadow. Home from our trip, I was looking through my old family photo album for the picture of me sitting on the wall and found another picture of my father’s that was quite similar to the one I had taken.

I am so grateful that my parents introduced me to the joys of camping and to appreciate the miracles of nature. I cherish the memories I have of those childhood vacations and the times we spent together as a family.

GratiTuesday: Another blogger meet-up

As I wrote about in an earlier post, I have had the special privilege of meeting several of my favorite bloggers face-to-face. Virtual friendships can form in the blogging community as we get to know each other by reading the bits and pieces we share over time. When the opportunity presents itself to actually meet, it is a real treat.

From the moment I “met” Donna via her blog, Retirement Reflections, I knew I liked her. In addition to having several things in common (we are about the same age, retired a few years ago, are active and enjoy traveling, and tend to view life through an optimistic lens), our differences were also interesting to me. For instance, she’s Canadian, a grandmother, and has lived overseas (I’m not, not, and haven’t).

When I learned that Donna, her husband, and dog, Cody would be staying for a month in a desert community not too far from where I live, I jumped at the chance to arrange a meet-up. Fortunately for me she was also interested and, after some back and forth picking a date, we finally managed to meet yesterday for a nice, long lunch.

So, what did we talk about? Blogging, of course!

We both agreed how nice it was to be able to talk about all the ins and outs and ups and downs of blogging with someone who was actually interested. We shared ideas, tips, frustrations, suggestions, and stories. We talked about the many bloggers we follow (were your ears burning yesterday?) and how much we appreciated everyone’s varied focus and writing styles.

We also gave each other encouragement. When I mentioned that I hadn’t been posting as often lately, Donna said that she had noticed and had been missing me (wow!). She is newer to the blogosphere than I am and is still brimming over with ideas. I, on the other hand, sometimes feel that my writing well can get a little dry. Donna helped me realize that I may have a few more things to say before Retirementally Challenged is tossed on the ever-expanding ash heap of long-forgotten blogs.

donna

If you don’t already follow Donna’s blog, I hope you will check it out… and follow… and comment (we both agreed that we love comments and interacting with our readers). It’s well-written, openhearted, and always interesting. After meeting her, I can say that her blog reflects her personality perfectly.

I am so grateful that I, once again, had the opportunity to meet a fellow blogger face-to-face. It is so gratifying to be able to transform a two-dimensional writer of a blog I follow into a three-dimensional friend.

GratiTuesday: It’s the little things (and some big things too)

Gardening, making meals, climbing stairs, grocery shopping… just getting from Point A to Point B without assistance. It’s the little things that we don’t think much about until we lose our ability to do them.

It’s been almost exactly two months since I executed a rather inelegant dismount from a ladder and fractured my hip on our concrete patio. Some of you have asked how I am doing and I’m please to say that I’m doing much, much better. About three weeks after my surgery, I graduated from a walker to a cane and for the last two weeks or so I have been walking completely under my own power. Although I still have a bit of a limp, it gets better every day. I’m not back power-walking or dancing yet, but I’m confident that it’s only a matter of time.

Today, I am grateful for many things, including modern surgical procedures and the remarkable healing ability of the human body. It amazes me that two months after having my broken bone screwed back together, I am almost completely mobile and pain-free.

I am grateful for patient people: those who were behind me as I limped forward with my cane and didn’t angrily push their way around me. My balance wasn’t always great and I found myself close to being tripped several times as some people brushed by me to get ahead. I appreciated those who understood my limitations and didn’t try to shave off a few seconds by zipping around and risk toppling me over. I hope that lesson stays with me when I’m the one who needs to be patient.

I am grateful that I can again putter in the yard, drive myself where I want, walk up and down stairs, and pretty much do all the little things I took for granted before my accident. My accident gave me a brief glimpse of what it could be like when I’m much older. Maintaining my health and taking good care of my body is even more important to me now.

Finally, I am grateful to my husband for taking such good care of me, encouraging my progress, and keeping my spirits up when I was struggling. “For better” is the easy part, “For worse” is what matters.

GratiTuesday: My Public Broadcasting Stations

npr-home

The annual membership renewal notice for our local public broadcasting station came in the mail the other day. My husband and I have discussed our current contribution level and I think this will be the year we increase it substantially.

We usually begin our day listening to our local National Public Radio (NPR) station and, in the evening, we often watch the Public Broadcasting Station’s (PBS) NewsHour to catch up on the day’s news. When I’m driving around in my car, my radio might as well be permanently fixed on NPR because I rarely listen to anything else. In addition, we watch many of the quality shows our local PBS station broadcasts in the evening such as Downton Abbey, Sherlock, Masterpiece Theater, and anything Ken Burns produces.

Yesterday, while I was in my car running a few errands, I listened to an in-depth report on climate change, a security technologist discussing the growing threat that hacking poses, and a fascinating story about the three months Leon Trotsky spent in New York City in late 1916, early 1917. I didn’t have to put up with inane chatter or people yelling at each other, vapid commercials weren’t assaulting my ears, and I didn’t hear the same few songs played over and over again.

When I listen to NPR or watch PBS, I am always entertained and I usually learn something new; sometimes the topics are already of great interest to me and sometimes the subjects weren’t even on my radar. Either way, I always get something out of the time I spend watching or listening to this most valuable public resource.

I am so grateful for public television and radio and the diverse programs and services that are available to inform, educate, enlighten, and enrich us all. Public broadcasting stations are operated as private not-for-profit corporations and partially rely on contributions by their listeners.

I am also grateful for those who support public broadcasting.

If you haven’t given your local public broadcasting station a try, tune in sometime and see if what they offer is of value to you.

If you do watch or listen – or both – but are not yet a member, consider joining. Your support will help ensure the continued success of smart, thoughtful programming.

If you are already a member: fabulous! If you can, think about upping your level of support. Also, please consider including your local station in your estate planning so that future generations can enjoy this valuable resource too.

GratiTuesday: Lucky Thirteen

My husband and I were married thirteen years ago, on the thirteenth of September, after being together for thirteen years.

We didn’t plan it that way; it was just how everything happened to align.

One of my husband’s favorite anecdotes about our getting married is that he never really asked me to marry him.

It’s true, at least in the formal, romantic proposal, actually asking me sense…

A little over a year before we were married, we attended his high school reunion in northern California. I didn’t grow up in the same community so most of the people there were strangers to me. During the event, introductions were uncomfortable since most people assumed that I was his wife. Referring to me as his “date” wasn’t at all correct, “partner” sounded stiff and business-like, and I was certainly more than a “girlfriend” (by that time we owned a home together).

On our drive home, I told him how awkward I felt because we didn’t have a simple way to define our relationship to others. That’s when he very innocently said, “Well, maybe we should think about getting married.” Silly man… I was thinking that it was about time too and, before he knew what hit him, we had a date set and wedding plans beginning to form.

wedding

I am so very grateful for my husband and the life we have built together. Although it took us thirteen years to make it official, we’ve been together for twenty-six years and I’d happily marry him again today (whether he asked me or not). God knows we can drive each other crazy at times, but the inscription on our wedding invitation thirteen years ago is still true today:

This day I will marry my friend…

The one I laugh with, dream with,

live for and love.

GratiTuesday: Our summer has just begun!

Most people mark the beginning of summer in June on the Solstice, or when the kids get out of school, or when the weather turns reliably warm. But, for many people who live in my city – especially those of us who are retired or have flexible schedules – our summer begins after Labor Day.

After months of sharing our city with visitors and putting up with roving packs of teens and pre-teens, all of a sudden a kind of quiet descends over us. Most of the tourists have gone back home, the kids are starting back to school, and we look forward to what is often our best weather in September and into October. We rejoice that our beaches are far less crowded, restaurants are quieter, and we no longer have to share our favorite hang outs with the masses.

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And, it gets even better: even though we will celebrate the Fall Equinox on September 22 this year, Daylight Savings mercifully doesn’t end until November 6. Then, it’s just over a month until the Winter Solstice, after which the sun begins to make its way north again and daylight hours start to get longer and longer.

Even though we continue to struggle with the drought here in Southern California, I am so grateful that I live in an area where winter doesn’t mean months of snow, spring feels right around the corner even in September, and the delights of summer can often be enjoyed well after those living in colder climates have traded their flip flips for boots.

I’d also be very grateful for a good dose of rain, though.

GratiTuesday: The blogging community

When I first started my blog almost three years ago, I wasn’t sure what to expect beyond having an excuse to write now and then. At the time, I was approaching my retirement and I thought blogging would be a good way to work through the uncertainties I was feeling.

What I didn’t expect was that my blog would become an entrée into a community of interesting, generous, and inspiring fellow bloggers. As I got more and more comfortable with the care and feeding of my blog, I started to meet other bloggers who were on similar journeys. That led me to find still others who, although they might have been on different paths, had interesting stories to tell.

In many ways, I feel as if I can call many of the bloggers I follow – and who follow me – friends. Through our posts and our comments, we celebrate positive events, support each other through challenges, and share simple bits and pieces of our lives. If a blogger I’ve been following stops posting – either unexpectedly or with prior notice – I often feel as if I’ve lost a friend.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet face-to-face with several bloggers I follow. Each time, the transition from blog persona to actual person was easy and the conversation comfortable. The get-togethers have felt like meet ups with friends… because that’s what they were.

My most recent face-to-face meeting was with Joanne of My Life Lived Full. Several months ago, when my husband and I started to plan our road trip back east, I reached out to her to see if she’d be interested in getting together while we were in Toronto. Fortunately, she was and she generously arranged her day so we could meet for lunch.

Joanne meetup

Just as I expected, Joanne was as nice (she is Canadian, after all) and interesting in person as she is on her blog. We talked about her family (which I already felt like I had met), our travels, and a whole host of other topics. After a couple of hours of easy conversation, I was sorry when it was time to go.

I am so grateful for the community of bloggers that I have become a part of. I had no idea when I started my blog that it would provide me not only an opportunity to write, but also the chance to meet new friends from all over the world.